Wednesday, November 26, 2014

The ZWR Play-by-Play Guide to Thanksgiving Day

5:45 - Get woken up by your stupid kid, give thanks for not having slept soundly in your own home for four years. 

5:47 - Fall back asleep. 

6:00 - Get woken up again because your wife hates you and demands coffee. 

6:01 - 7:59 - exist in sleep-deprived fugue state, engaging in as little conversation as possible. 

8:30 - Get guilted by your mom for first time. 

10:00 - Drink a shower beer. It’s what the pilgrims would want you to do. 

Tuesday, November 25, 2014

Eagles Week 12 Report Card

ZWR: Mark Sanchez doesn’t always inspire confidence with his play, but his love of the chicken tenders always wins me back. I’m ride or die with Franchez, until the moment Nick Foles is able to return at which point eat away bro set up an omelet station for all I care. Grade: We Won

Getty Images

Monday, November 24, 2014

NFC East Owner's Boxes: A Quick Check-In

Steve Tisch making out with a 19 year old it's all good...

Jerry boozing while people clean his glasses obvi...

Daniel Snyder shamelessly rationalizing racism all seems right...

The Definitive Odell Beckham Jr. Catch Photoshop

LOL Giants

Tuesday, November 18, 2014

Eagles Week Eleven Report Card (SPOILER: F-)

ZWR: Mark Sanchez didn’t get hurt, and I consider that a victory in light of how that game played out. Everything was butt. So, so, so butt. Like, Butt City, USA. BUTT. Grade: Not injured.

Hardingererer: “He wasn’t horrible, but he wasn’t good either” is an appropriate description of the quarterback in at least 9 out of the 10 games the Eagles have played so far. Grade: D

The Evster: Absolute dreamboat matchup yesterday between Aaron “Roy” Rodgers and Mark “The Sanchinator” $anchez. My wife was locked in all game. My father on the other hand was not nearly as riveted.

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