Monday, November 21, 2016

Eagles Week 11 Report Card


Quarterback
ZWR: Okay, it’s both. Carson Wentz’s receivers stink and cost him yards/scores AND he’s making some craptastic decisions. It is both. I still love him. He’s going to be very good. Let’s all be happy we’re burning the learning year this season rather than next. Watching Sam Bradford wouldn’t be more fun, and this is waaaaay more productive long term. Grade: B

The Evster: 0 for 2 on moon balls, but I appreciate the effort. Next week I’d like to see at least 12 more moon balls (in the first half) (and also our head coach get fired). Grade: A forever

Photo by: ZWR

Monday, November 14, 2016

Eagles Week Ten Report Card


Quarterback
ZWR: Pretty sure Carson Wentz hasn’t thrown a touchdown in like three weeks and yet I haven’t been as confident with a QB under center since peak McNabb. Grade: Learning Year A+++++++++++++



Monday, November 7, 2016

Eagles Week Nine Report Card


Quarterback
ZWR: Oh man, Carson, those two interceptions were brutal. Buuuut you battled back hard and put up a bunch of yards and got us into position to get some points. But srsly bro those interceptions… Grade: C+

AP Photo / Frank Franklin II

Monday, October 31, 2016

Week Eight Report Card (SPOILER: We Lost It's Monday Nobody Slept Well Hate Sports)


Quarterback
ZWR: Carson Wentz is a Porsche with bobo dork tires that your dad fixed so that it can't go over 40 MPH. Grade: A+

The Evster: Back when I was not 473 years old and used to play Madden, my friend Larbo would employ the “1 in 3” strategy -- where he would bomb the ball down the field on every play and only needed to complete “1 in 3” to be successful. He never was. He was terrible. Lost every game, but goddammit watching him launch balls to the moon was friggin’ exhilarating. Grade: A forever, but also F



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