Wednesday, September 17, 2014

Eagles Week Two Report Card

This is Craney's contribution (no srsly):

ZWR: Nick Foles had over 300 yards passing despite a host of drops and it still seemed he should have had more than 400 with his own mistakes eliminated and he runs slower than me in ski boots but he got the job done when it mattered so I’m not going to complain today let’s keep it positive. Grade B

Tuesday, September 16, 2014

This Should Hold You Over (SPROLES GIFS)

Week Two Report Card will be up tomorrow. Just look at these for the next 24 hours (like, continuously).

SOURCE: SB NATION (who won't hire me to bolg full-time because they're scab pigs).

Monday, September 15, 2014

Here's Jonathan Papelbon Literally Groping Himself

Not satisfied with the huge success of The Papelbra®, Paps and the Phillies are now offering a full line of complete, sensual, celebration wear:

Tuesday, September 9, 2014

Eagles Week 1 Report Card vs. Jaguars

"Report cards are a tragic misstep in bolg evolution."

Alright alright alright. HELLO and welcome to another season of ZWR Eagles Report Cards--the most comprehensive and insightful football analysis on the entire planet. This season I’ve taken great pains to assemble a crack team of quasi-Twitter celebrities, football analyzers and teenagers:

  1. Cranekicker (CK) - I’m listing him first just to point out the fact that he barely even bothered contributing this week.
  2. Danger Guerrero (DG) - he of Phillies High and Warming Glow fame
  3. Hardinger  - he’s a dumb teenager and college student. I have no idea why he bothers with this. He’s also co-founder of Philly Complex, I think
  4. The Evster - a lunatic that writes for The700Level
  5. Dr. Pizza MD - a guy that makes real t-shirts

Note: Sorry for this being posted on a Tuesday but honestly look at all these people I have to manage honestly you’re lucky this got posted at all

Friday, September 5, 2014

Comprehensive Eagles v. Jaguars Preview

OKAY. The Jaguars stink, and the Eagles are like 10 point favorites, so we really don't even need to write much about this matchup, or how our opponent features Chad Henne at quarterback, do we?

HOWEVER, what we definitely do need to do is make a lot of stupid .gifs. For that, you'll probably want to bookmark the utterly amazing Madden Giferator:


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