Tuesday, November 18, 2014

Eagles Week Eleven Report Card (SPOILER: F-)

ZWR: Mark Sanchez didn’t get hurt, and I consider that a victory in light of how that game played out. Everything was butt. So, so, so butt. Like, Butt City, USA. BUTT. Grade: Not injured.

Hardingererer: “He wasn’t horrible, but he wasn’t good either” is an appropriate description of the quarterback in at least 9 out of the 10 games the Eagles have played so far. Grade: D

The Evster: Absolute dreamboat matchup yesterday between Aaron “Roy” Rodgers and Mark “The Sanchinator” $anchez. My wife was locked in all game. My father on the other hand was not nearly as riveted.

Monday, November 17, 2014

Desean Jackson Standing By His Teammates

Interesting reaction after a disappointing loss yesterday...

In case you didn't click on the Instant Gram (WARNING: CURSE WORD AFTER THE JUMP):

Wednesday, November 12, 2014

Eagles Week Ten Report Card

ZWR: Well you certainly have to be happy with that performance from Mark Sanchez. Of note, it was enjoyable to have our quarterback not throw the ball to the other team, or drop it while trying to slide. But it’s not all positive, kids. I got lots of “Sanchize” and “Dirty Sanchez” texts/emails/pages Monday night. Those two nicknames are SOOOO BAD. Don’t use them. That’s an order. Grade: A

Tuesday, November 11, 2014

The Ultimate Scorier Cuts a Promo

 I-- Mike McCarthy, hmmmmm.... I have a question, mmmmm, to answer your question.

As you, Mike McCarthy, travel to LAMBEAU by conventional means, the normals you travel with experience malfunctions. As you realize ALL THAT IS LEFT is total self-destruction, do you, Mike McCarthy, show self-pity? DO YOU, MIKE MCCARTHY, try to reason why? Do you, Mike McCarthy, try and comfort the normals that have even more fear than you? Or, do you, Mike McCarthy, kick the doors out? Kick the cockpit door down? Take the two pilots that have already made the sacrifice so that you can face this challenge. Dispose of them, Mike McCarthy. Assume the controls, Mike McCarthy. SHOVE THAT CONTROL INTO A NOSE DIVE, MIKE MCCARTHY! Push yourself to total self-destruction. AS YOU REALIZE, Mike McCarthy, you are about to enter a world close to Parts Unknown. Ah, smell it Scoriers. DO YOU, Mike McCarthy, look for a place to hide? Or do you, Mike McCarthy, face that challenge? That may be more powerful THAN EVEN YOU ARE, MIKE MCCARTHY! You, Mike McCarthy, must self-destruct. So that you will know, Mike McCarthy, who is… the chosen one. FOR MIKE MCCARTHY, I am not the chosen one that you speak of. 

I am not. 

I, Mike McCarthy, am the only one.

/fade to black
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