Tuesday, February 24, 2015

#BACHCAP: Kaitlyn Deserves Better

See, this is why he should have kept __________
Sara Circs: Carly. She was funny and these women are NOT INTERESTING.

ZWR: Gonna let Bazooka mom run the point on this one and agree with her. Carly was peaking-- BLOSSOMING, if you will-- into her role and then old buckethead booted her. Luckily, Kaitlyn is still around to provide any sort of personality. Oh, wait.

Tuesday, February 17, 2015

#BACHCAP: Snow Day Edish (w/ Pics of Frank the Cat!!!)

So, what did we miss on Sunday I didn't watch?
ZWR: No idea bruh I was watching SNL. My wife looked it up, we had this exchange:

Nag: "He took Jade on a one-on-one."
Me: "Which one is that?"
Nag: "Dark hair."
Me: (blank stare)
Nag: "From Nebraska."
Me: (blank stare)
Nag: (sigh) "Playboy."
Me: "Aaaaaaaaah, Jade!"

Friday, February 13, 2015

Some Valentine's E-Cards to Spark the Romance This Weekend

Tomorrow is Valentine's Day, AND it's almost time for pitchers and catchers to report to Clearwooder, so I figured it was the perfect time to make some more e-cards like I literally do every year on this same exact day.

If you forgot to get that special someone in your life a gift, don't worry! Just send them one of these and all will be forgiven.

Thursday, February 12, 2015

Kevin Seitzer Discusses How He Feels About Having To Coach Against Roy Halladay

As I exclusively reported way back in the depths of this winter, Phillies legend and general human superhero Roy Halladay will serve as a special instructor to the team at Spring Training. Exciting, right? It's not difficult to imagine the staff-- if it listens to HLHIII-- posting the best numbers in Grapefruit League history while surpassing all previous records of personal fitness.

It seems opponents are, in lieu of our excitement, anticipatory (in a sense) of having to face Roy. I recently sat down with new Braves hitting coach Kevin Seitzer (pictured above) and asked his thoughts on leading his charges against Halladay's. His reply :

MY own heart let me have more have pity on; let
Me live to my sad self hereafter kind,
Charitable; not live this tormented mind
With this tormented mind tormenting yet.
I cast for comfort I can no more get
By groping round my comfortless, than blind
Eyes in their dark can day or thirst can find
Thirst ’s all-in-all in all a world of wet.

Welp, there you have it! 

Tuesday, February 10, 2015

#BACHCAP: South Dakota and Whatnot

This guy’s head may seriously be filled with nothing but rocks and candy moment of the ep
ZWR: I can’t totally fault the giant box of muscle and testosterone for this, but in commenting on his solo date with Becca he said, “She looked smoking hot riding that #horse!” We get it, she’s straddling something with her legs apart and her boobs are bouncing. You’re imagining her on top of you during a boink sesh- all perfectly natural and acceptable- but to say she’s “smoking hot” at that moment is just an extra frat bro high five. Not needed.

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