Monday, October 20, 2014

Thursday, October 16, 2014

BREAKING EXCLUSIVE: Eagles Team Photo Now in the Museum of Art!



You know a team is popular when its quick-minded coach can make a simple joke about their hastily shot team photo not being a work of art, and then the actual major curator of art in that city goes ahead and displays that exact photo in their hallowed halls for social media daps.


Boom. Great work all around.

Tuesday, October 14, 2014

It's Official: The New York Giants HATE America



Earlier today a Facebook reader provided this photo of basically the entire NY Giants roster blocking the pathway of the heroic men and/or women providing the color guard before Sunday Night's total annihilation.

A disgusting, classless, downright America-hating act, I'd say:

Click for maximum bigness or if you want to do your own analysis

Naturally I immediately sent this photo off to my forensics lab for detailed analysis so that we might identify these evil-doers and rightfully shame them publicly. Here's what they came back with:
  1. #38 Trumaine McBride - he's probably backing up in this photo for maximum impedence to our freedoms
  2. Anonymous commie scab pig "coach" - probably not even a real coach, just a plant from the Illuminati to destroy the nationalistic fiber of our once great country. Or maybe he taught Tiki Barber how to be a scumbag. But really, the Giants, good thing you employ this man to teach your players proper habits. 
  3. Scab pig player who is really tall and who's number starts with 8-. I don't want to recklessly speculate, and I want to assume it's Larry Donnell since he made me lose in fantasy football a couple weeks ago, but he didn't wear long sleeves for the game. Nor did Rueben Randle or Daniel Fells. Preston Parker is short. That leaves either Adrien Robinson or Corey Washington. Both seem capable of this deplorable behavior.
  4. #29 Michael Cox (YEAH HE IS)
  5. Assistant Mullet Coach, Mullet McGee (possibly Larry Izzo). Nice hair, guy.
  6. Plaxico Burress - known felon. Or whichever guy isn't Number 3.


AND THERE'S MORE!
The same heroic Facebook reader also provided this picture of Charlie the Hero, proving once and for all that the NY Daily News is a sensationalist, scab pig organization hell bent on destroying our country from the inside:

Don't let them drag you down, Charlie. We know the real truth.



Charlie May Be an Even Bigger Hero Than We Think


We all saw the debacle of a cover from the New York Daily News yesterday that tried to portray Eagles employee Charlie as celebrating Victor Cruz's injury. Most recognized it as crap, and noted how Charlie actually was praying for Cruz once he realized the receiver was hurt. I even made a face-breaking photoshop to mock the absurdity of it all:

omg ZWR you rule

Well, here's some more info that hints at just how good of a guy he is. According to this caller to the Jon and Sean Show (go to the 1:51 mark) Charlie

TOOK A WEEK-LONG LEAVE OF ABSENCE FROM WORK TO VOLUNTEER IN NEW YORK CITY AFTER SEPTEMBER 11

I'll try to get some more info on this, but I wanted it out there because what that newspaper did to this man is wrong.

Eagles Week Six Report Card


Quarterback
ZWR: If you take away those two frighteningly inexcusable gift-wrapped pick sixes that could have swung the game if the Giants capitalized then I think Nick Foles looked okay. Grade: B

LOL sick burn

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