Tuesday, March 16, 2010

This Guy Gets It


So Ryan Lawrence, Phils beat writer at the Delco Times, Northwestern Journalism Alum (oooooooooooooooh), fanatical ZWR fan, and all-around good donkey not only participated in Mammal Madness, but he wrote his whole bracket out. Prose, yo. Of course, this needs to get posted. Enjoy:


I'll start in the Oregon Region:

Lion over Super Glider. Not much of a match, really.

Elephant over Kangaroo. Dude's on a t-shirt. Duh.

Grizzly over Panda. Grizz was pretty ticked he was the underdog.

Red pandas! over Zebra. Even the refs couldn't help team Z.


Lincoln Park:

Tiger over Donkey. Their bite beats ass kick.

Porcupine over gator. Prickly bastards.

Snow leopard over Sloth. Loser goes on to star in 'Goonies 2.'

Mallard over komodo dragon. This went to OT, Beak prevails.


Austin: 

Polar bear over Gorilla. Do you need to ask why?

Giraffe over chimp. Loser's ups not enough to block G-shot.

King cobra over Sea Lion. Fan favorites go down.

Seal (pensive) over Wallaby. Just because.


Philly:

Penguin over puffin. Backwards red hat is the difference. 

Bald eagle over tree frog. Get off my branch, bitch.

Wolf over tortoise. Underneath the shell, he's softer than Eaton.

Black bear over python. the black bear is badass.



Round two

Oregon: 

Elephant over Lion. Not sure either gets any further, they beat the crap outta each other.

Grizz over red pandas! I'm tellin ya, the Grizz is fiercer than King Cole.


Lincoln: 

Tiger over 'pine; Ugly - the 'pine even tried to hit Tiger over head with five iron.

snow leopard over mallard. It's still cold out; they're playing in snow season.


Austin: 

Polar over giraffe. That giraffe got tore up.

Cobra over seal. Sweep the leg! (or fin-thing!)


Phily:

Penguin over Bald eagle: Sid beats U.S. again

Black bear over wolf: This was my least favorite to watch go down.



Onto the final four:

Oregon: Grizz over Elephant. Nobody beats the grizz.

Lincoln: Tiger over snow leopard. Tigers are favorites to win this whole thing.

Austin: Polar over cobra. Cobra came in looking for a fight, Polar swatted his ass into the grass.

Philly: Penguin over Black Bear. The game of the tourney; but the 'giun is better dressed for Final Four shindigs.


Champions

Tiger over Grizz. Not sure how this happened, but the damn Tiger is a in a Roy-like zone.

Polar over Penguin. It's just not fair, the Polar is a mean son'abitch.


Final

Tiger over Polar. Turns out Doc was working with the Tigers all offseason. (National Wildlife Federation, MLB, NCAA and NSA looking into possible violations).








3 comments:

  1. Mine is going to be a lot less... organized than his. But I think you might like it, hopefully.

    ReplyDelete
  2. "Nobody beats the grizz" ...awesome Biz ref

    ReplyDelete
  3. Great posting! i found this post very interesting, would love to see more post from you.

    ReplyDelete

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