Tuesday, April 6, 2010

First Ever ZWR Time Capsule Results!




And now, the long-anticipated results of the first ever Zoo With Roy Time Capsule! Remember... all of these were written last week. Argue over the winner in the comments!

Jacopo Belbo went with haikus (four of them):
Roy, Rocket Right Arm
Batter After Batter Is
Cutterered In Shame

Spring. Opening Day.
Fresh Grass And Fastballs Abound
Roy Takes The Mound. Tears.

Obama First Pitch?Roy Will Show Him How It's Done.
High Heat And Cutter.

Penguins At The GameWatching Roy's Pitches Fly
They Soar, While They Don't.


F*** the Mets of The Fightins is very optimistic:
IP: 9

ER: 1
K: 10
BB: 2
WHIP: 0.66
CUTTERED K's: 4
SO CUTTERED K's: 3
GHEY K's: 3
MICHAEL NUTTERS WITH JERSEY TUCKED IN TO JEANS: 0

Chris also sent in a haiku...
CG in DC
4 cuttereds 3 so cuttereds
watch the panda sneeze


"Chuckiejeep" has Steve Smith sending a guy who hasn't reached third yet on Vlad confidence:

9 innings pitch, 27 strikeouts, 80 TOTAL pitches, (yeah he's that good)

Jamie, aka Steve Jeltz, says:
The Nationals are about to get SO CUTTERED, but at least they know this.
7 Innings. 7 K's. 4 Cuttered. 3 SO Cuttered. Zero BB.
Phils win 4 - 1. Thanks - I love your work. (ZWR: No, thank you!)



ZWR Super fan loctastic:
Halladay - 7 2/3 IP, 9K (3C, 2SC), 1BB, 6H, 1ER
Rollins hits a HR
Phils win 7-2


OMG SUPER BOLG CELEBRITY AND CHAMPION OF THE WORLD MEECH.ONE:
3 #cuttered, 3 #socuttered, one earned run, one walk (that damn Zimmerman!), and the all-important "W" to begin the season.

ZWR:
WIN. Eight innings, 8 Ks (4 cuttered, 4 so cuttered), + .89 GROwL percentage points


ZWR's Corporate Director of Facebook Branding Initiatives Max:
4 cuttered, 3 so cuttered


OFFICIAL ACTUAL RESULTS:

6 comments:

  1. I've been waiting all morning for a ZWR update! i <3 the sneezing panda baby :)

    ReplyDelete
  2. it's true, I am a super fan. I will not shut the f up about this site.

    re: winner, I gotta say, I came real close to nailing the actual box score. But other people brought the funny. So I lose.

    ReplyDelete
  3. not to nitpick but you kind of mangled the very important line spacing on my last two haiku there ... i am not sure what that makes them now ... smushkus?

    ReplyDelete
  4. and i will also say that i am very glad i was not the only on to resort to poetry but seriously how can anybody compete with sneezing baby pandas? i don't even Thoreau could top a sneezing baby panda.

    ReplyDelete

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