It's common knowledge that I'm basically the biggest soccer authority in the West. I mean, I watched that game when Tony Meola and the US beat I think Colombia and then that guy got shot for tipping the ball into his own net and was so excited (not about the dude getting janked) I bought a pair of Umbros. Oh and I bought FIFA 94 for my Genesis. Big time. Anyway, so I caught a few minutes of the game last night, which allowed me to see and appreciate my favorite Union, Fred. I know, right? Fred! That- and nothing else I assure you- got me to thinking: which Phillies player would have the hippest moniker? Assume it'd be the first name. You automatically go Raul, because it's fun to say, and just terribly cool. But there's something so deliciously blunt to one syllable (you think I'm steering you to Roy but I'm honestly not). Jimmy could be the most apropos, or is that just because we know all that makes up Jimmy? This one has layers beneath the surface behind the cover, yo. Discuss. No, really, use the comments if you'd like. I'm curious.