I think it's fair to say that the first and final annual Zoo With Roy Great Brownie Scholarship was an incredible success. We received AT LEAST half a dozen entries and they were all pretty good; the quality generally fell somewhere in between you know just kind of okay, and OMG-help-find-my-face-it-just-broke-off-no-please-really-where-is-it awesome. More on the latter later.
Before we unveil the winning submission, we'd like to take a moment to thank all of the entrants for their time, effort, passion for the arts, and varying levels of creative abilities. We're big supporters of the arts here at ZWR, and we love to give away other people's stuff. So thanks once again. And here's hoping our next contest, whatever it may be, is at least as awesome as this one. Oh who am I kidding it totally will be.
Also, thanks in general to everyone who e-mails stuff in. We'll get to posting it all eventually. Maybe. Someday. No, really.
But now... the envelope please...
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(dramatic anticipation fills the room)
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(camera cuts to all the entrants waiting nervously in the third row, trying to act cool)
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(the orchestra builds to a crescendo, some donkey on third violin screeches a wrong note)
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(Harry the logo penguin waddles from stage right, carrying the winning entry in a wax-sealed envelope with gold foil embossed on the front)
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(Guest PA Announcer Dan Baker: Ladies and gentleman, the winner of the 2010 I Want to Go to the Zoo with Roy Halladay Great Brownie Scholarship is...)
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"Alegorico 6, 7, 8" by ZWR reader Clark!
Click for much bigger, face-breaking view
Now frankly, we have no idea what's going on in this MS Paint drawing, and we're not even sure if Clark mean to enter it in the Great Brownie Scholarship contest, but it was by far the bestest thing we received, like, ever. I mean really. Look at that thing.
Celebrity judge Meech.one of the Fightins said via his iPhone:
"This is literally a transcendent piece of artistic genius...the type of work that changes the paradigm on what you previously though possible within the realms of a given creative medium. Also, it has a mexican guy holding a trident beneath a constellation dolphin. Give that motherducker a cotdamn brownie!!"But seriously, we still have no idea what's going on in this thing, so we'll paste the accompanying e-mail Clark sent along with his unknowing submission:
Here I am in grad school asked to draw what I think some boring 400-year-old Spanish/Mexican text describes as canvases on an Arc d'Triumph (French, right?). Instead of being a lame-o, I went all Paintbrush on my professor's ass.Waiter, I'll start with the "Yes" appetizer, and then I'll have the most expensive "Please" entree on your menu. I mean seriously. This guy submitted MS Paint pwnage as part of a GRAD SCHOOL project. If that's not deserving of a free brownie, nothing is.
So congratulations, Clark.
You win a fantastic brownie courtesy of SweetSwallows bakery, in addition to internet fame and fortune. If you're reading this, e-mail ZWR your address so the bakery can send your spoils.
I bow down before that MS paint. I am not worthy.
ReplyDeleteLOST FACE
ReplyDeleteif located please contact me
lol wut
ReplyDeleteadmittedly this is the highest point in my Spanish Lit M.A. career. thanks, ZWR!
ReplyDeleteI think I was misquoted.
ReplyDeleteThis is the best submission the University of Delaware has ever seen in any of their graduate degree programs. Bravo, Clark. Run for Dean.
ReplyDeleteWow.I think it's "alegorico 7,8,6". "No?"
ReplyDeleteDon't sweat the details meech.
ReplyDeleteMy vote wasn't counted! I demand a recount! (Granted, I'm def voting for this one. What a winner. But still ...)
ReplyDeleteThis is the most disapointing post I have read on ZWR. Sorry but it doesn't do it for me.
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ReplyDeleteI agree with Radu.
ReplyDeleteare you going to post the others so we can see the other awesome works of art?
ReplyDelete