Wednesday, June 30, 2010

I'm Going to Need 600,000 of You to Vote for Chooch Immediately

People of internet: Our very own Chooch "Carlos" Ruiz is currently LOSING the National League all-star voting by very many votes, to such donkeys as Yotty Air Molina and a 60-year old Ivan Rodriguez, who has sucked for years now, but happens to be currently drafting off the wake created by Strasburg's epic face-melting. In short, this is a disgrace, Chooch deserves a better showing, and Nationals fans are ridiculous donkeys. Together, we can make this happen*

And in case you're struggling with whether or not to vote for Chooch hundreds of thousands of times today, I have put together the decision-making flow chart below:

I have faith, internet. If there is one group of fans ready to mobilize at a moments notice, cast aside their workday plans, and start a Panamanian all-star revolution, it's ZWR readers. Go forth and break faces.

I also need everyone to re-tweet this, post it to Friendster, share it, print it out and leave it in bathroom stalls, write the URL on your buddy's white board, submit it to Sports Illustrated's Faces in the Crowd, etc... please. This is important.

Frequently Axed Questions

But ZWR, Chooch is currently on the DL with an injured brain!

*probably not, but whatever


  1. I have a hard time thinking that the Phillies need to field someone from every position on the team, especially when Ruiz has done really nothing to warrant inclusion except be on the same team as Roy Halladay (not good enough reason). Olivo isn't even on the top 5.

    -Royals Fan Who Wants A ZWR Shirt And To Go To The KC Zoo With Zack Greinke

  2. Boots clearly missed the flow chart.

  3. Hey, how weird is it that both Carlos Ruizes in major league history played in the Phillies organization? Weird enough that boosting Chooch into the All-Star game is a Kantian imperative, I'd say.


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