Tuesday, June 8, 2010

Phillies 2010 Draft Guide

Round one Amaro and Co. selected some kid from Havertown that I never heard of and may never see pitch for the Philadelphia Phillies (assuming we trade him for 2012's version of Cliff Lee). His Facebook is probably blowing up, though. He had eleventy billion strike-outs against kids that are also on the Mathletes, and his mechanics indicate an ability to throw a baseball really fast. ZWR sources report that one concern Phillies scouts had with the potential ace lefty with the plus changeup was that he didn't use the verbal crutch "you know" enough in face-to-face communication. Committed to play college baseball somewhere, though with the danger posed by aluminum bats and the BP Gulf crisis I can't see him passing on the opportunity to sign.

Jamie Moyer was _______ years old when he was born, HAHAHHAAHAHA.

No but in all seriousness, congrats, Jesse. Word of advice: stay away from reality show women, unless it's Kendal from Road Rules Campus Crawl.

*Picture from some website called MaxPreps

Yo, someone in his family (we're calling him his great granduncle though it's probably not even close) used to be THE CEO OF THE PHILADELPHIA ZOO!!! You're telling me that's some sort of accident or happy coincidence? Poppycock! (Thanks to electronic James Beale of the City Paper for the tip)


  1. These Quaker schools discourage hitting, so his numbers may be inflated.

  2. haha You changed the quote about MaxPreps. That was the best bit of the thread.

  3. He looks like a total donkey


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