Welcome, millions of ESPN News late morning television viewers! I'm sure you're all visiting because you just witnessed me break the world's face off, while simultaneously charming Dana Jacobson on First Take. Thanks for stopping by!
Now, there are probably hundreds of questions running through your head right now: What's this all about? What the hell is going on here? How much less would my cable bill be if I dropped ESPNEWS?
However, by far the most important question you should be asking yourself right now is: "Which ZWR T-shirt is right for me, and what's my budget for said acquisition?"
I'm glad you asked! Since everyone already owns a piece of ZWR, now's your chance, too. Is this shameless, you ask? Yes and No. I'd be remiss, though, not to capitalize on my appearing on a show pre-empted by socially awkward children participating in preliminary rounds of the National Spelling Bee. Don't you agree?
Good! Let's break it down.
Simply click the link below the quotation that best matches your self image:
"I'm an idiot! I like to be zany!"
"I'm a traditionalist. I want something clean, classic and timeless."
"I want people to think I'm crazy and that I go against the grain, but I really don't--I'm just kind of really shy."
"Yo, I really do rule."
"I'm Ryan Spielberg, of the Colorado Donkies." (?)
Stinks to Be You
"Che Guevara was so misunderstood."
"Che Guevara was so misunderstood. Pass the bong."
Revolution, tie dye
"I'm a girl, you donkey! Don't you make shirts for women?"
I read Sassy Magazine
"I love penguins too!!!"
"Look, you're annoying me with all this.I'm a follower. Just show me the top sellers and let me buy one already."
Hopefully we'll have some video of the appearance soon. Until then, please stay and browse around!