The Wertzgator's home run last night may just have signaled a thaw in the icy relationship betwixt he and mancrush. Perchance...?
WERTZ: No no, after you.
CHASE: No no, you first.
WERTZ: I interrupted you.
CHASE: On the contrary.
They glare at each other angrily.
WERTZ: Ceremonious ape!
CHASE: Punctilious pig!
WERTZ: Finish your phrase, I tell you!
CHASE: Finish your own!
Silence. They draw closer, halt.
WERTZ: Moron!
CHASE: That's the idea, let's abuse each other.
They turn, move apart, turn again and face each other.
WERTZ: Moron!
CHASE: Vermin!
WERTZ: Abortion!
CHASE: Morpion!
WERTZ: Sewer-rat!
CHASE: Curate!
WERTZ: Cretin!
CHASE: (with finality). Trade bait!
WERTZ: Oh!
He wilts, vanquished, and turns away.
CHASE: Now let's make it up.
WERTZ: Uts!
CHASE: J-Dub!
WERTZ: Your hand!
CHASE: Take it! Gently!
WERTZ: Come to my arms!
CHASE: Yours arms?
WERTZ: My breast!
CHASE: Off we go!
They embrace. They separate. Silence.
WERTZ: How time flies when one has fun!
Silence.
CHASE: What do we do now?
WERTZ: While waiting.
CHASE: While waiting.
Silence.
WERTZ: We could do our exercises.
CHASE: Our movements.
WERTZ: Our elevations.
CHASE: Our relaxations.
WERTZ: Our elongations.
CHASE: Our relaxations.
WERTZ: To warm us up.
CHASE: To calm us down.
WERTZ: Off we go.
Instead of "waiting for Godot," it could be "Waiting for Roy to go to the Zoo."
ReplyDeleteat one time i thought you were on drugs.
ReplyDeletei was wrong-people on drugs are nowhere near this creative.
Just when I thought I couldn't possibly love this bolg any more. Beckett. Jeez.
ReplyDeletethis is the greatest thing I have ever written. if there was ever any doubt before, this post just sealed it: this bolg is the greatest thing the internet has ever seen. evar.
ReplyDeleteever seen written*
ReplyDeleteI have to say..this kind of turned me on. You should write a whole play.
ReplyDeleteThis is so great. I just keep going back and reading this day after day.
ReplyDelete