Wednesday, July 28, 2010

Nothing to Be Done


The Wertzgator's home run last night may just have signaled a thaw in the icy relationship betwixt he and mancrush. Perchance...?



WERTZ: No no, after you.

CHASE: No no, you first.

WERTZ: I interrupted you.

CHASE: On the contrary.

They glare at each other angrily.

WERTZ: Ceremonious ape!

CHASE: Punctilious pig!

WERTZ: Finish your phrase, I tell you!

CHASE: Finish your own!

Silence. They draw closer, halt.

WERTZ: Moron!

CHASE: That's the idea, let's abuse each other.

They turn, move apart, turn again and face each other.

WERTZ: Moron!

CHASE: Vermin!

WERTZ: Abortion!

CHASE: Morpion!

WERTZ: Sewer-rat!

CHASE: Curate!

WERTZ: Cretin!

CHASE: (with finality). Trade bait!

WERTZ: Oh!

He wilts, vanquished, and turns away.

CHASE: Now let's make it up.

WERTZ: Uts!

CHASE: J-Dub!

WERTZ: Your hand!

CHASE: Take it! Gently!

WERTZ: Come to my arms!

CHASE: Yours arms?

WERTZ: My breast!

CHASE: Off we go!

They embrace. They separate. Silence.

WERTZ: How time flies when one has fun!

Silence.

CHASE: What do we do now?

WERTZ: While waiting.

CHASE: While waiting.
Silence.

WERTZ: We could do our exercises.

CHASE: Our movements.

WERTZ: Our elevations.

CHASE: Our relaxations.

WERTZ: Our elongations.

CHASE: Our relaxations.

WERTZ: To warm us up.

CHASE: To calm us down.

WERTZ: Off we go.

7 comments:

  1. Instead of "waiting for Godot," it could be "Waiting for Roy to go to the Zoo."

    ReplyDelete
  2. at one time i thought you were on drugs.

    i was wrong-people on drugs are nowhere near this creative.

    ReplyDelete
  3. Just when I thought I couldn't possibly love this bolg any more. Beckett. Jeez.

    ReplyDelete
  4. this is the greatest thing I have ever written. if there was ever any doubt before, this post just sealed it: this bolg is the greatest thing the internet has ever seen. evar.

    ReplyDelete
  5. I have to say..this kind of turned me on. You should write a whole play.

    ReplyDelete
  6. This is so great. I just keep going back and reading this day after day.

    ReplyDelete

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