Friday, July 23, 2010

Rime of the Ancient Ex-Mariner





It is an ancient Mariner,
And he hitteth one of four.
`By thy long grey beard and glittering eye,
We ask however more?

He holds him with his skinny hand,
"There was a stretch," quoth he.
`Hold off! unhand me, grey-beard loon!'
Eftsoons his hand dropped he.

He holds him with his glittering eye -
The bolging guest stood still,
And listens like a three years' child:
The Mariner hath his will.

The bolging guest sat on a stone:
He cannot choose but hear;
And thus spake on that ancient man,
The bright-eyed Mariner.

"The team was cheered, the field was cleared,
Merrily did we drop
I hitteth well, but fate befell,
And the hitting it doth stop"

The sun came up upon the left,
Out of Reading came he!
And he shone bright, though Ruben's right
Stayed down not challenge me.

Higher and higher every day,
Till over the mast at noon -"
The bolging guest here beat his breast,
For he heard the loud bassoon.

The bolging guest he beat his breast,
Yet he cannot choose but hear;
And thus spake on that ancient man,
The bright-eyed Mariner.

"And now to Lehigh Valley came, and he
Was tyrannous and strong:
He struck with his o'ertaking swings,
And chased me along.

With sloping masts and dipping prow,
As who pursued with yell and blow
Still treads the shadow of his foe,
And foward bends his head,
The home runs stopped, OPS dropped,
And southward aye we fled.

And a good south wind sprung up behind;
The whispers all did follow,
And every day, with each bad play,
Came to the mariner's hollo!

`God save thee, ancient Mariner,
From the fiends that plague thee thus! -
Why look'st thou so?' -"Bolging fellow
I am the Albatross."


14 comments:

  1. Samuel Taylor Coleridge <3

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  2. Seriously, you're brilliantly hilarious. Nicely done.

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  3. Just got off the phone with my wife, who was driving. Mid-conversation, she yells:

    "Turn you stupid donkey!"

    I sit in stunned silence, then ask her if she reads ZWR. She replies she has no idea what I'm talking about.

    I don't believe her.

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  4. "The team was cheered, the field was cleared,
    Merrily did we drop
    I hitteth well, but fate befell,
    And the hitting it doth stop"


    Gold Jerry! GOLD!

    ReplyDelete
  5. Brilliance is usually blinding, but in this case it is silencing.

    I bow down.

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  6. Best ZWR shirt sighting EVER just now on Fox! Tim McCarver loves the We Have shirt, you're big time now!

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  7. ZWR on FOX!!!represent YO!

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  8. I kind of wonder if you could refashion the "Your signs" shirt by replacing "Roy Halladay" with "HLHIII" or "Doc" or something like this. Not to encourage you to give in to The Man or anything...

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  9. Please teach a literature class to me, ZWR.

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  10. And what rough beast, its hour come round at last,
    Slouches towards CBP to be play'd?

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  11. Very glad I read through this. Excellent job Luzzy

    ReplyDelete

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