Washington, DC - At 5:04 this morning, Nationals rookie pitcher Stephen Strasburg worked on a new pitch- one that employed a cutter grip shown to him by Roy Halladay- while wearing his Men's Standard Weight Red Label Strasboner Tee, causing a slight break in the face of the earth. Thankfully no one was injured. Amy Vaughan, a geophysicist with the USGS, said the quake was the largest ever recorded in the area, and thanked Charlie Manuel in advance for intentionally avoiding a Halladay/Strasburg matchup on August 1. "Stuff would break, yo", said Vaughan.
Did you know that Boner from Growing Pains killed himself? Zoinks!