Wednesday, September 22, 2010

The 20 Wins of Roysmas (a Choochtober Carol)


Come along, children, scoot over here by the old piano. Yes, you may bring your cookies and cocoa with you. You know what time it is? Yup- time to sing my favorite Choochtober Carol of the whooooooooooole holiday season. Anyone know which one that is? That's right, "The Twenty Wins of Roysmas"! You all remember how it goes? Well then let's start...

(Upon a soft intro from the ivory keys, with a velvety Bing Crosby voice)

On the First Win of Roysmas, HLH gave to me domination in Washington, DC

On the Second Win of Roysmas, HLH gave to me a complete game against a future co-Roy and domination in Washington, DC

On the Third Win of Roysmas, HLH gave to me broken faces in his home debut, a complete game against a future co-Roy, and domination in Washington, DC

On the Fourth Win of Roysmas, HLH gave to me a shut-out against the Braves who were already going gentle, broken faces in his home debut, a complete game against a future co-Roy, and domination in Washington, DC

On the Fifth Win of Roysmas, HLH gave to me SHUT-OUT LOLMETS, a shut-out against the Braves who were already going gentle, broken faces in his home debut, a complete game against a future co-Roy, and domination in Washington, DC

On the Sixth Win of Roysmas, HLH gave to me nine Ks against the Cards, SHUT-OUT LOLMETS, a shut-out against the Braves who were already going gentle, broken faces in his home debut, a complete game against a future co-Roy, and domination in Washington, DC

On the Seventh Win of Roysmas, HLH gave to me SO PERFECT 5/29, nine Ks against the Cards, SHUT-OUT LOLMETS, a shut-out against the Braves who were already going gentle, broken faces in his home debut, a complete game against a future co-Roy, and domination in Washington, DC

On the Eighth Win of Roysmas, HLH gave to me seven strong against the Pads, SO PERFECT 5/29, nine Ks against the Cards, SHUT-OUT LOLMETS, a shut-out against the Braves who were already going gentle, broken faces in his home debut, a complete game against a future co-Roy, and domination in Washington, DC

On the Ninth Win of Roysmas, HLH gave to me a road victory at home against the Blue Jays in a game I wasn't at, seven strong against the Pads, SO PERFECT 5/29, nine Ks against the Cards, SHUT-OUT LOLMETS, a shut-out against the Braves who were already going gentle, broken faces in his home debut, a complete game against a future co-Roy, and domination in Washington, DC

On the Tenth Win of Roysmas, HLH gave to me another complete game against the oh so gentle Braves, a road victory at home against the Blue Jays in a game I wasn't at, seven strong against the Pads, SO PERFECT 5/29, nine Ks against the Cards, SHUT-OUT LOLMETS, a shut-out against the Braves who were already going gentle, broken faces in his home debut, a complete game against a future co-Roy, and domination in Washington, DC

On the Eleventh Win of Roysmas, HLH gave to me omg he walked a guy! (8 innings, no runs), another complete game against the oh so gentle Braves, a road victory at home against the Blue Jays in a game I wasn't at, seven strong against the Pads, SO PERFECT 5/29, nine Ks against the Cards, SHUT-OUT LOLMETS, a shut-out against the Braves who were already going gentle, broken faces in his home debut, a complete game against a future co-Roy, and domination in Washington, DC

On the Twelfth Win of Roysmas, HLH gave to me 27 dead snakes, omg he walked a guy! (8 innings, no runs), another complete game against the oh so gentle Braves, a road victory at home against the Blue Jays in a game I wasn't at, seven strong against the Pads, SO PERFECT 5/29, nine Ks against the Cards, SHUT-OUT LOLMETS, a shut-out against the Braves who were already going gentle, broken faces in his home debut, a complete game against a future co-Roy, and domination in Washington, DC

On the Thirteenth Win of Roysmas, HLH gave to me just one run by the Marlins, 27 dead snakes, omg he walked a guy! (8 innings, no runs), another complete game against the oh so gentle Braves, a road victory at home against the Blue Jays in a game I wasn't at, seven strong against the Pads, SO PERFECT 5/29, nine Ks against the Cards, SHUT-OUT LOLMETS, a shut-out against the Braves who were already going gentle, broken faces in his home debut, a complete game against a future co-Roy, and domination in Washington, DC

On the Fourteenth Win of Roysmas, HLH gave to me the joy of watching the Mets stink like feet, just one run by the Marlins, 27 dead snakes, omg he walked a guy! (8 innings, no runs), another complete game against the oh so gentle Braves, a road victory at home against the Blue Jays in a game I wasn't at, seven strong against the Pads, SO PERFECT 5/29, nine Ks against the Cards, SHUTOUT LOLMETS, a shut-out against the Braves who were already going gentle, broken faces in his home debut, a complete game against a future co-Roy, and domination in Washington, DC

On the Fifteenth Win of Roysmas, HLH gave to me Zoinks it's the Mets again!!!, the joy of watching the Mets stink like feet, just one run by the Marlins, 27 dead snakes, omg he walked a guy! (8 innings, no runs), another complete game against the oh so gentle Braves, a road victory at home against the Blue Jays in a game I wasn't at, seven strong against the Pads, SO PERFECT 5/29, nine Ks against the Cards, SHUTOUT LOLMETS, a shut-out against the Braves who were already going gentle, broken faces in his home debut, a complete game against a future co-Roy, and domination in Washington, DC

On the Sixteenth Win of Roysmas, HLH gave to me no runs by the Natinals, Zoinks it's the Mets again!!!, the joy of watching the Mets stink like feet, just one run by the Marlins, 27 dead snakes, omg he walked a guy! (8 innings, no runs), another complete game against the oh so gentle Braves, a road victory at home against the Blue Jays in a game I wasn't at, seven strong against the Pads, SO PERFECT 5/29, nine Ks against the Cards, SHUTOUT LOLMETS, a shut-out against the Braves who were already going gentle, broken faces in his home debut, a complete game against a future co-Roy, and domination in Washington, DC

On the Seventeenth Win of Roysmas, HLH gave to me enough to beat the Brewers and to be honest that's fine because there were a bunch of games before this when they weren't scoring any runs for him even though he's so freaking awesome I mean come on (no offense, Dave Sardineface), no runs by the Natinals, Zoinks it's the Mets again!!!, the joy of watching the Mets stink like feet, just one run by the Marlins, 27 dead snakes, omg he walked a guy! (8 innings, no runs), another complete game against the oh so gentle Braves, a road victory at home against the Blue Jays in a game I wasn't at, seven strong against the Pads, SO PERFECT 5/29, nine Ks against the Cards, SHUTOUT LOLMETS, a shut-out against the Braves who were already going gentle, broken faces in his home debut, a complete game against a future co-Roy, and domination in Washington, DC

On the Eighteenth Win of Roysmas, HLH gave to me seriously the Mets just stop trying, enough to beat the Brewers and to be honest that's fine because there were a bunch of games before this when they weren't scoring any runs for him even though he's so freaking awesome I mean come on (no offense, Dave Sardineface), no runs by the Natinals, Zoinks it's the Mets again!!!, the joy of watching the Mets stink like feet, just one run by the Marlins, 27 dead snakes, omg he walked a guy! (8 innings, no runs), another complete game against the oh so gentle Braves, a road victory at home against the Blue Jays in a game I wasn't at, seven strong against the Pads, SO PERFECT 5/29, nine Ks against the Cards, SHUTOUT LOLMETS, a shut-out against the Braves who were already going gentle, broken faces in his home debut, a complete game against a future co-Roy, and domination in Washington, DC

On the Nineteenth Win of Roysmas, HLH gave to me nine more strike-outs as we surge toward Choochtober, seriously the Mets just stop trying, enough to beat the Brewers and to be honest that's fine because there were a bunch of games before this when they weren't scoring any runs for him even though he's so freaking awesome I mean come on (no offense, Dave Sardineface), no runs by the Natinals, Zoinks it's the Mets again!!!, the joy of watching the Mets stink like feet, just one run by the Marlins, 27 dead snakes, omg he walked a guy! (8 innings, no runs), another complete game against the oh so gentle Braves, a road victory at home against the Blue Jays in a game I wasn't at, seven strong against the Pads, SO PERFECT 5/29, nine Ks against the Cards, SHUTOUT LOLMETS, a shut-out against the Braves who were already going gentle, broken faces in his home debut, a complete game against a future co-Roy, and domination in Washington, DC

On the Twentieth Win of Roysmas, HLH gave to me another win in the biggest series of the season (so far, you just wait, because this season is special), nine more strike-outs as we surge toward Choochtober, seriously the Mets just stop trying, enough to beat the Brewers and to be honest that's fine because there were a bunch of games before this when they weren't scoring any runs for him even though he's so freaking awesome I mean come on (no offense, Dave Sardineface), no runs by the Natinals, Zoinks it's the Mets again!!!, the joy of watching the Mets stink like feet, just one run by the Marlins, 27 dead snakes, omg he walked a guy! (8 innings, no runs), another complete game against the oh so gentle Braves, a road victory at home against the Blue Jays in a game I wasn't at, seven strong against the Pads, SO PERFECT 5/29, nine Ks against the Cards, SHUTOUT LOLMETS, a shut-out against the Braves who were already going gentle, broken faces in his home debut, a complete game against a future co-Roy, and domination in Washington, DC

3 comments:

  1. Including this with my Xmas cards this year.

    ReplyDelete
  2. So I'm reading through this and I can't help but hear it in Muppet voices in my head. Mi mi mi mi mi mi. Bahdumpdumpdump.

    ReplyDelete

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