Friday, September 3, 2010

KTHXBAI, Rockies


So it's September now and last night the Phillies stopped in for a one-night-only appearance at Coors Field to basically do what the Phillies do in September against ZWR fan favorite Jim Tracy and his Colorado Rockies. In summary: Utley appears to be ready to destroy faces for the rest of the year and Howard kind of got jammed and still hit a piss rod for homerun and Wertz went yard and Brad Lidge kind of even gave everyone a heart attack even though it wasn't really his fault and OH-MY-GOD IT WAS ALL SO GLORIOUS.

To tell you more about it, here's ZWR's official Colorado correspondent, Jessica:
So I had tickets to the original game back in May and was SO EXCITED when I heard they would make the game up in September where the weather might not be so Arctic. The game was amazing, of course. Even when we were down 4-0 early, I told my friend we would win the game. The 7th inning basically made my head asplode, and then a Rockies fan started throwing peanuts (EDITOR'S NOTE: WAIT WHAT?!!) at me (I think maybe the Colorado fans are starting to understand this baseball thing... should we be happy for them??).

I was dancing in my Phillies Snuggie and all the other 50% of fans in attendance who were Phillies fans were so excited, too, even though the Rockies fans were being mean. Everyone got to play! Chooch and Dommy and Ben. And that donkey Jim Tracy got thrown out, even though I was wearing the shirt we sent him!

Yo, Rockies "fan" dudes that were throwing things at Jessica: you're doing it wrong, donkeys.

11 comments:

  1. Wait? Rockies fans are starting to understand baseball? Really? Wow. Chase creamed that ball. He really likes the Rockies though. 3 GS off of them... only 4 in his life. I love when we play donkeys like the Rockies.

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  2. Jessica is hot.

    Piss rod for a home run. Beautiful prose...

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  3. Jessica looks like she has a Rockies jersey on underneath her Phillies shirt.

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  4. It was a Phillies home jersey on under the shirt! Those pinstripes are RED.

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  5. No joke, I went to CU Boulder, went to a Phills/Rockies game last year, and this guy marches down the (empty, obviously) aisle only to light me up with a handful of peanut shells point blank in the face... cool town huh? I got him kicked out.

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  6. Really? Peanut shellz? That's all they got in Colorado? At least in Illy when we get mad we throw BATTERIES. Noonch.

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  7. I assume that by "got him kicked out" you mean "beat the shit out of him"?

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  8. Wait! I thought we Philly fans had donkey behavior copyrighted or something!? SUE!

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  9. I Want to go to Denver to Meet Jessica from I Want to go to the Zoo With Roy Halladay

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  10. I had to read the title of this post like, five times before I got it.

    Does that make me retarded?

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