Thursday, September 2, 2010

Sortytime with SHEPDAWG of the 701 SON (a ZWR guest post )


THE MISSION
by the 701 Level, illustrated by ZooWithRoy


YO SHEPDAWG HERE n u all member how ROY HALLDAY gave HOMEPLATE 2 CHORCH to thank him 4 hlepin teh PERFEC GAEM

well SHEPDAWG NO U DO but SHEPDAWG bet u duno how ROY GOT HOMPLATE outa SUNLIEF STADMIUM in teh 1ST PLACE

wel as it TURN OUT me n GIL were chilin at teh 701HQ 1 nite reddin bout SPROTS n watchin SPROTS i thnk the PHIELS were CLAPIN sumbudy teh CLAP UP taht nite bout a wekk b4 the serramony. GIL wuz ettin a METBALL SUB wen the FONE RUNG.

SHEPDAWG pict that shit up cuz he aint no BIRCH n he gangsta so ALL his BILLS PAYD SON

"YO 701HQ SHEPDAWG SPEKKIN" shepdawg sed

"YO SHEP WATS UP SON GOTA MINNIT" shepdawg herd a voce say

"YO WHO THIS"

"YO its ROY SON"

"YO WHICH ROY I NO ALOTA ROYS BRUH"

"YO DOCTER ROY HALLDAY BRAH WTF U THINK"

Tahts wen SHEPDAWG MEMBERT that only liek 8 ppl got that number sides me n GIL: GILS MOMA, The RELL KING JAMES JIWAN JAMES, RUBEN AMAORINO, AMDY REED, MAUREEN H BEASLEY A LEDDIN SCOLER on ELENOR ROSEVELT, PRINCE, n KAT WILIAMS cuz hes funy as SHIT SON, n of corse DOC AHALLDAY cuz if DOC nedd 2 tlka u beter b round 2 talk 2 him.

So yo, SHEPDAWG liek "YO WATS UP DOC" cuz bug buny is the tits

"YO I NO GIL THERE 2 SHEP so put it on SPEKKER FONE I GOT A MISION 4U"

n then DOC layed it out 4 me n GIL. he sed they gun haf a serramony onnerin his PERFEC GAAEM n theys gun give him n CHORCH rings n shit n he was gun by WACHES 4 the other PHILES but he wana do sumthin RELL SPEZSHEL 4 CHORCH cuz CHORCH always b CLAPIN FOLLS UP liek BORXTON n teh res of the NL wenever he geta chance n he cal a gudd gaem 2.

"SO WACHA GUN DO 4 CHORCH DOC u gota getim sumthin MUNY CAINT BY SON" GIL SED

ROY sed he akst teh GROUNSKEPPER 4 SUNLIEF if he culd get HOMPLATE n givit 2 CHORCH but the kepper sed FULCK THAT SON ITS ARES GET UR OWN n no mater wat he sed or oferrt teh dude dint wana HERR IT.

"SO SHEP, GIL, i nedd 2 no if u wana do sum GANGSTA ASS SHIT 4 ur boy ROY" n of corse me n GIL ALWAYS DOWN 4 SUM GANGSTA ASS SHIT



Click for full frontal heavily illustrated 701 face clappage

so that nite me n GIL got in are CHERY ASS 98 MIATA n drove bout 202MPH don 2 FLURDA got ther round 2AM IN TEH MRONIN but it was liek NITETIME u no how they say it MORNIN buit teh SUN AINT OUT n u dun want ur CHERIOS YET it was liikek that culndt c SHIT son 4rell rell DARK OUT

SHEPDAWG n GIL dun CREPP we jus taek wat we wunt if we wunit liek we tokk over this BLOGIN GAEM n we tokk EDDIE JORDASNS LAPTOP THAT 1 TIME so we rollt rite up 2 teh FRON T DORR at SUNLIEF n sed

"YO BIRCH WE TAEKIN THAT PLATE"

groundskepper cum out n say "HEL U SAY"

GIL wuz all liek "YO SON u dint wana lisen 2 RESON u dint wana NEGOSHATE liek a GROWNASS MAN so now u gota dell wit GIL n SHEP SON we doin this 7 0 1 STUYLE 4RELL" n then he chuckt a FLASHBANG GARNADE

dude srtated bleddin outh is ears n scremmin liek a dummy so SHEPDAWG KICKT IM in his NUTSAK.

after that u bet we got them KEYS SON. we had that HOM]EPLATE outa teh groun n we was in NORT CARONLNIA lisenin to audiobokks by teh tiem the COPS SHOWT UP there.

ROY was rell HAPY cuz hed do nething 4 CHORCH n so wold teh 701

stay HARDEST CORE SPROTSFANS n kepp it RELL RAW jus liek SHEPDAWG

15 comments:

  1. That took me 20 minutes to read, now my fucking brain hurts.

    ReplyDelete
  2. Thank ROY for the artwork! Otherwise, I would have no idea what the hell I just read...

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  3. But what were the audiobooks that were listened to on the way home??? I need all the details.

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  4. 701 is what happens when retards breed

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  5. This is the best thing since Spider-Man teamed up with the X-Men

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  6. "701 Level makes my brain hurt" has replaced "should've kept Cliff Lee" as the Phillies bolg complaint du jour. HATERS BSET BACK UP BFOUR U GET JCAKED UP!

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  7. Who gave Pacman Jones his own blog and why is it about Philadelphia?

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  8. Dont be hattin on my BABBY SHEPdawg yo. You jus jelous. He a fine-ass BRAH ya here me? Dats mah BOO you go head SHEP wif yor badd ass hradcor sef.

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  9. this is my favorite

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  10. The primitiveness of the Microsoft Paint is what makes the photograph hilarious.

    Huzzah!

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  11. yo SHEP N GIL that wus RELL NIEC of u to STELL home platt 4 ur BOY ROY

    PRAYS ALLASH

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  12. HE SAID SHOULD HAVE KEPT CLIFF LEE! HE'S BACK, BIRCHES!!!

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  13. DIS stroy makes me go HAHAHAHGHGGSGHHAAHHAHAH SON 4RELL YE

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