THE MISSION
by the 701 Level, illustrated by ZooWithRoy
YO SHEPDAWG HERE n u all member how ROY HALLDAY gave HOMEPLATE 2 CHORCH to thank him 4 hlepin teh PERFEC GAEM
well SHEPDAWG NO U DO but SHEPDAWG bet u duno how ROY GOT HOMPLATE outa SUNLIEF STADMIUM in teh 1ST PLACE
wel as it TURN OUT me n GIL were chilin at teh 701HQ 1 nite reddin bout SPROTS n watchin SPROTS i thnk the PHIELS were CLAPIN sumbudy teh CLAP UP taht nite bout a wekk b4 the serramony. GIL wuz ettin a METBALL SUB wen the FONE RUNG.
SHEPDAWG pict that shit up cuz he aint no BIRCH n he gangsta so ALL his BILLS PAYD SON
"YO 701HQ SHEPDAWG SPEKKIN" shepdawg sed
"YO SHEP WATS UP SON GOTA MINNIT" shepdawg herd a voce say
"YO WHO THIS"
"YO its ROY SON"
"YO WHICH ROY I NO ALOTA ROYS BRUH"
"YO DOCTER ROY HALLDAY BRAH WTF U THINK"
Tahts wen SHEPDAWG MEMBERT that only liek 8 ppl got that number sides me n GIL: GILS MOMA, The RELL KING JAMES JIWAN JAMES, RUBEN AMAORINO, AMDY REED, MAUREEN H BEASLEY A LEDDIN SCOLER on ELENOR ROSEVELT, PRINCE, n KAT WILIAMS cuz hes funy as SHIT SON, n of corse DOC AHALLDAY cuz if DOC nedd 2 tlka u beter b round 2 talk 2 him.
So yo, SHEPDAWG liek "YO WATS UP DOC" cuz bug buny is the tits
"YO I NO GIL THERE 2 SHEP so put it on SPEKKER FONE I GOT A MISION 4U"
n then DOC layed it out 4 me n GIL. he sed they gun haf a serramony onnerin his PERFEC GAAEM n theys gun give him n CHORCH rings n shit n he was gun by WACHES 4 the other PHILES but he wana do sumthin RELL SPEZSHEL 4 CHORCH cuz CHORCH always b CLAPIN FOLLS UP liek BORXTON n teh res of the NL wenever he geta chance n he cal a gudd gaem 2.
"SO WACHA GUN DO 4 CHORCH DOC u gota getim sumthin MUNY CAINT BY SON" GIL SED
ROY sed he akst teh GROUNSKEPPER 4 SUNLIEF if he culd get HOMPLATE n givit 2 CHORCH but the kepper sed FULCK THAT SON ITS ARES GET UR OWN n no mater wat he sed or oferrt teh dude dint wana HERR IT.
"SO SHEP, GIL, i nedd 2 no if u wana do sum GANGSTA ASS SHIT 4 ur boy ROY" n of corse me n GIL ALWAYS DOWN 4 SUM GANGSTA ASS SHIT

so that nite me n GIL got in are CHERY ASS 98 MIATA n drove bout 202MPH don 2 FLURDA got ther round 2AM IN TEH MRONIN but it was liek NITETIME u no how they say it MORNIN buit teh SUN AINT OUT n u dun want ur CHERIOS YET it was liikek that culndt c SHIT son 4rell rell DARK OUT
SHEPDAWG n GIL dun CREPP we jus taek wat we wunt if we wunit liek we tokk over this BLOGIN GAEM n we tokk EDDIE JORDASNS LAPTOP THAT 1 TIME so we rollt rite up 2 teh FRON T DORR at SUNLIEF n sed
"YO BIRCH WE TAEKIN THAT PLATE"
groundskepper cum out n say "HEL U SAY"
GIL wuz all liek "YO SON u dint wana lisen 2 RESON u dint wana NEGOSHATE liek a GROWNASS MAN so now u gota dell wit GIL n SHEP SON we doin this 7 0 1 STUYLE 4RELL" n then he chuckt a FLASHBANG GARNADE
dude srtated bleddin outh is ears n scremmin liek a dummy so SHEPDAWG KICKT IM in his NUTSAK.
after that u bet we got them KEYS SON. we had that HOM]EPLATE outa teh groun n we was in NORT CARONLNIA lisenin to audiobokks by teh tiem the COPS SHOWT UP there.
ROY was rell HAPY cuz hed do nething 4 CHORCH n so wold teh 701
stay HARDEST CORE SPROTSFANS n kepp it RELL RAW jus liek SHEPDAWG
by the 701 Level, illustrated by ZooWithRoy
YO SHEPDAWG HERE n u all member how ROY HALLDAY gave HOMEPLATE 2 CHORCH to thank him 4 hlepin teh PERFEC GAEM
well SHEPDAWG NO U DO but SHEPDAWG bet u duno how ROY GOT HOMPLATE outa SUNLIEF STADMIUM in teh 1ST PLACE
wel as it TURN OUT me n GIL were chilin at teh 701HQ 1 nite reddin bout SPROTS n watchin SPROTS i thnk the PHIELS were CLAPIN sumbudy teh CLAP UP taht nite bout a wekk b4 the serramony. GIL wuz ettin a METBALL SUB wen the FONE RUNG.
SHEPDAWG pict that shit up cuz he aint no BIRCH n he gangsta so ALL his BILLS PAYD SON
"YO 701HQ SHEPDAWG SPEKKIN" shepdawg sed
"YO SHEP WATS UP SON GOTA MINNIT" shepdawg herd a voce say
"YO WHO THIS"
"YO its ROY SON"
"YO WHICH ROY I NO ALOTA ROYS BRUH"
"YO DOCTER ROY HALLDAY BRAH WTF U THINK"
Tahts wen SHEPDAWG MEMBERT that only liek 8 ppl got that number sides me n GIL: GILS MOMA, The RELL KING JAMES JIWAN JAMES, RUBEN AMAORINO, AMDY REED, MAUREEN H BEASLEY A LEDDIN SCOLER on ELENOR ROSEVELT, PRINCE, n KAT WILIAMS cuz hes funy as SHIT SON, n of corse DOC AHALLDAY cuz if DOC nedd 2 tlka u beter b round 2 talk 2 him.
So yo, SHEPDAWG liek "YO WATS UP DOC" cuz bug buny is the tits
"YO I NO GIL THERE 2 SHEP so put it on SPEKKER FONE I GOT A MISION 4U"
n then DOC layed it out 4 me n GIL. he sed they gun haf a serramony onnerin his PERFEC GAAEM n theys gun give him n CHORCH rings n shit n he was gun by WACHES 4 the other PHILES but he wana do sumthin RELL SPEZSHEL 4 CHORCH cuz CHORCH always b CLAPIN FOLLS UP liek BORXTON n teh res of the NL wenever he geta chance n he cal a gudd gaem 2.
"SO WACHA GUN DO 4 CHORCH DOC u gota getim sumthin MUNY CAINT BY SON" GIL SED
ROY sed he akst teh GROUNSKEPPER 4 SUNLIEF if he culd get HOMPLATE n givit 2 CHORCH but the kepper sed FULCK THAT SON ITS ARES GET UR OWN n no mater wat he sed or oferrt teh dude dint wana HERR IT.
"SO SHEP, GIL, i nedd 2 no if u wana do sum GANGSTA ASS SHIT 4 ur boy ROY" n of corse me n GIL ALWAYS DOWN 4 SUM GANGSTA ASS SHIT
Click for full frontal heavily illustrated 701 face clappage
so that nite me n GIL got in are CHERY ASS 98 MIATA n drove bout 202MPH don 2 FLURDA got ther round 2AM IN TEH MRONIN but it was liek NITETIME u no how they say it MORNIN buit teh SUN AINT OUT n u dun want ur CHERIOS YET it was liikek that culndt c SHIT son 4rell rell DARK OUT
SHEPDAWG n GIL dun CREPP we jus taek wat we wunt if we wunit liek we tokk over this BLOGIN GAEM n we tokk EDDIE JORDASNS LAPTOP THAT 1 TIME so we rollt rite up 2 teh FRON T DORR at SUNLIEF n sed
"YO BIRCH WE TAEKIN THAT PLATE"
groundskepper cum out n say "HEL U SAY"
GIL wuz all liek "YO SON u dint wana lisen 2 RESON u dint wana NEGOSHATE liek a GROWNASS MAN so now u gota dell wit GIL n SHEP SON we doin this 7 0 1 STUYLE 4RELL" n then he chuckt a FLASHBANG GARNADE
dude srtated bleddin outh is ears n scremmin liek a dummy so SHEPDAWG KICKT IM in his NUTSAK.
after that u bet we got them KEYS SON. we had that HOM]EPLATE outa teh groun n we was in NORT CARONLNIA lisenin to audiobokks by teh tiem the COPS SHOWT UP there.
ROY was rell HAPY cuz hed do nething 4 CHORCH n so wold teh 701
stay HARDEST CORE SPROTSFANS n kepp it RELL RAW jus liek SHEPDAWG
That took me 20 minutes to read, now my fucking brain hurts.
ReplyDeleteThank ROY for the artwork! Otherwise, I would have no idea what the hell I just read...
ReplyDeleteBut what were the audiobooks that were listened to on the way home??? I need all the details.
ReplyDeletePRAISE ALLAH
ReplyDelete701 is what happens when retards breed
ReplyDeleteThis is the best thing since Spider-Man teamed up with the X-Men
ReplyDeleteStill hurting...
ReplyDelete"701 Level makes my brain hurt" has replaced "should've kept Cliff Lee" as the Phillies bolg complaint du jour. HATERS BSET BACK UP BFOUR U GET JCAKED UP!
ReplyDeleteWho gave Pacman Jones his own blog and why is it about Philadelphia?
ReplyDeleteDont be hattin on my BABBY SHEPdawg yo. You jus jelous. He a fine-ass BRAH ya here me? Dats mah BOO you go head SHEP wif yor badd ass hradcor sef.
ReplyDeletethis is my favorite
ReplyDeleteThe primitiveness of the Microsoft Paint is what makes the photograph hilarious.
ReplyDeleteHuzzah!
yo SHEP N GIL that wus RELL NIEC of u to STELL home platt 4 ur BOY ROY
ReplyDeletePRAYS ALLASH
HE SAID SHOULD HAVE KEPT CLIFF LEE! HE'S BACK, BIRCHES!!!
ReplyDeleteDIS stroy makes me go HAHAHAHGHGGSGHHAAHHAHAH SON 4RELL YE
ReplyDelete