Friday, September 24, 2010

Statistical Analysis Proves Mathematically that the Phillies Totally Rule's
hypothetical statistical analytical department has been crunching numbers all throughout the week, and our double-blind-triple-regression analysis reveals that, if Chase Utley, Jimmy Rollins, Ryan Howard, and Placido Polanco all hadn't spent overlapping extended stints on the disabled list, the team would have accumulated anywhere between 137 and 142 victories at this juncture.

Factors accounting for the five game variance in the Doppler model forecasts include: the gravitational force of Polanco's brow; quantity (and substantive quality) of foot-long subs consumed by Howard during the sample; the velocity with which Rollins managed to master the Dougie; and the cut of Chase Utley's jib.


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