Friday, October 15, 2010

Some Important Messages for REAL American Phillies Fans




AUBREY HUFF TIME AND TIME AGAIN SUPPORTED TAX BREAKS FOR COMPANIES THAT SEND *AMERICAN* JOBS OVER SEAS. Know someone unemployed? BLAME HUFF.



AARON ROWAND IS THE TAX MAN.


MATT CAIN repeatedly voted for policies that would only add to our already crippling national debt and land cushy benefits for special interest groups. (happy music start) ROY OSWALT VOTED *AGAINST* CRIPPLING DEFICIT and stood up to special interest groups in his own backyard.


Where was Barry Zito when Chad Durbin was on the ground in Afghanistan supporting our troops? That's right, noodling on his FOREIGN-MADE guitar while wining and dining with Washington's career politicians.


Pablo Sandoval voted 11 times to extend special benefits for illegal immigrants, costing real, hard working, American taxpayers untold million$$$$.


J.T. Snow is a closet Atheist.


Bail out?! More like free money and huge bonuses for Bruce Bochy's FAT CAT FRIENDS...while Main Street Americans continue to SUFFER.


Buster Posey wants hard-working taxpayers to fund Barack Obama's Socialist health plan and "Death Panels"!



How can Matt Cain pitch game two if he's TOO WORRIED ABOUT VOTING WITH NANCY PELOSI?!



Who's that holding hands and smiling with Holocaust-denier and megalomaniac Mahmoud Ahmadinejad? That's right, it's Travis Ishikawa. The same Travis Ishikawa that favors a MUSLIM MOSQUE at Ground Zero:


PAT BURRELL TESTIFIED UNDER OATH THAT TEEN GIRLS SHOULD HAVE RECKLESS ACCESS TO CONTRACEPTION IN SCHOOLS... ...AND EVEN THE MORNING AFTER PILL.

IS THIS MAN FIT FOR OUR DAUGHTERS?






Note: this has been completely stupid satire. The Giants players mentioned here probably don't believe 80-90% of the outlandish, deplorable, and often contradictory things ZWR wrote about them.

13 comments:

  1. How could you trust anybody that colors his beard like a terr'ists?

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  2. Uh ZWR, I'm torn about the Pat Burrell ad. I still like the guy. Did it have to come to this? :(

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  3. I hope this shows up on Fox News' Google search and they believe all of it.

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  4. Pat Burrell respects a woman's right to choose...him

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  5. This comment has been removed by the author.

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  6. While Pat was playing in Philly, he met my cousin at a bar, after a long night of drinking they went back to a hotel and had sex. During the encounter, he paused and say, "do you know you're f***ing Pat Burrell right now?" NO LIE. What a class act.

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  7. Thank you for your moral clarity, ZWR. You personify true courage.

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  8. Bruce Bochy has proven himself time and again to be a warlock. Tell Bruce Bochy there isn't a place for his black magic in baseball. This message is paid for by Rick Flair and friends of the Phillies.

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  9. i heard multiple accounts of woman sleeping with pat the bat and him pausing to say "can you believe your f***ing Pat Burrell"

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  10. But...doesn't everyone love Pat? I mean, it's too bad he couldn't be on the Phillies still to win another.

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