The Sixers today unveiled their new mascot "Tanky McLotto" to a small audience of nonplussed beat writers and distracted team interns. The team believes the new identity helps reflect a fan base that seems to have accepted perpetual losing in addition to capturing the current and future state of Sixers basketball.
Team executive Ed Stefanski:
"Tanky was our guy from the git-go. You look at the direction this team is heading in, the plan of our basketball people, and, I mean, I don't want to call it a no-brainer, but even I knew what had to happen. This is a huge day for the Sixers and the three or four remaining Sixers fans throughout the Delaware Valley... COME TANK WITH US!"
-- Ed Stefanski, General Manager of the Philadelphia 76ers and Bonner grad