Here's what happened at the CLIFF LEE press conference today*:
Ruben: "Smug smug smug forced humor smug smug I am a golden god everyone genuflect."
Cliff Lee: "Basically, Philadelphia is the greatest town ever and I would probably work here for free even though 100 million is also nice. Obviously, blah blah blah sold out games great fans, fans rule, love the fans, love the Phillies and the Liberty Bell. And dude, the bacon wrapped scallops were off the hook. Eskin, jesus christ, shouldn't you be over at the Linc? And yeah, I talked to Wertz, and dude--let me tell you--he is PISSED. Bwaha, oh well."