Tuesday, December 14, 2010

A Rambling, Sleep-Deprived Cliff Lee Post With Ruben Amaro Photoshops

"Good night, good night sweet baby
The world has more for you
Than it seems

Goodnight, goodnight

Let the moonlight take the lid off your dreams"

And so you woke to the news that the Philadelphia Phillies- your Philadelphia Phillies- signed CLIFTON PHIFER LEE. Yes, Cliff Lee. No, for real, Cliff Lee. The guy they traded for a left wing and a drug runner to make room for Roy Halladay. Remember- the trade that made everyone all angry? Yeah, of course you do, because we never forgot about it. But there's no need to even get into that because he's back. He's back he's back he's back Cliff Lee is back he's on the Phillies he's pitching with Roy Halladay and Cole Hamels and Roy Oswalt and Cliff Lee is so back.

"...I was a Flower of the mountain yes when I put the cap on my head like the Roys and Cole used or shall I wear a red yes and how he signed me under the Moorish wall and I thought well as well him as another and then I asked him with my eyes to ask again yes and then he asked me would I yes to say yes my mountain flower and first I put my arms around him yes and agreed to less money but more happiness yes and his heart was going like mad and yes I said yes I will Yes. "

"But ZWR, are you happy that the Yankees got left at the altar?!" Yes, I am. "But ZWR, isn't that petty?!?!?!!" No, shut up. You remember Matsui's home run against Pedro? I do. How about Mark Teixeira's stupid face? P'shaw to the Yankees.

"I'm gonna need to be taking those."

Just like that! BOOM! It had to be. Or something similar. Cliff LEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!!!!

Another thing that occurred to me but only for a moment is what this means for the bullpen. Lucky for us, the dorks over at The Good Phight already kicked around some numbers. Checka check it: click here

And everyone else has said this but we have never been the team that guys want to go to, let alone take less money to play for. Think about that. I demand it! And days like this, it doesn’t even matter that you didn’t sleep, or that you got less than three hours of sleep or whatever. Because this is craziness. This is what you live for. This right here, this is our time.

Moby Dick wouldn't be the book it is had Ahab captured the white whale. Somehow, in real life, Ruben Amaro has caught two- and the story's perfect.

It seems we have, as a fan base, been reminding each other to "enjoy this" a lot of late (as if still in partial disbelief that it's happening to us). Enjoy the World Series, enjoy trading for Cliff Lee, enjoy getting Roy Halladay, enjoy perfect games, enjoy playoff no-hitters, enjoy a superstar core, enjoy Cliff Lee resigning here for less money, etc. The vibe around the Phillies and amongst their fans is just spectacular.

While there are no guarantees for the future, I think it apt for all of you-- the donkeys tweeting, creating fan groups, writing blogs, posting diatribes on message boards, buying Matt Stairs shirts, invading opponent stadiums, turning Lot K into Lot K, mailing shirts to Jim Tracy, recruiting Logan Morrison, getting bought out by Comcast, and selling out CBP each and every game-- to take a moment and acknowledge that you are contributing greatly to its anticipated successes, and have in large part to those most recent.

When asked for comment on the recent signing, David Wright replied, "F*** this, I quit."


  1. I wanna go to Citizens Bank Park with everyone.

  2. I thought this day couldn't get any better, then you go and quote Ben Folds Five??? Be still, my heart!

  3. I want to go to a parade drunk off four loko, and with Phour Loko.

  4. Oh I'm so glad I found this site.

  5. If Wright quit...does that mean we're going to see him at a Phils press conference too?

    (Yes, I know that's unrealistic, but with Ruben anything's possible now, I suppose).

  6. Now Amaro's peglegged year over,
    Celebrate the Leerection then within CBP walls
    a tumultuous Fourgasm, yes, Yes, oh yes!

    Mashing Joyce and Melville so early without libation is not easy.

  7. yay for ben folds five lyrics mixed with cliff lee is back awesome-ness :)


Leave a comment, or whatever.

Related Posts Plugin for WordPress, Blogger...