Without causing a security breech, let's just say that ZWR deploys spies to watch the other guys' spies. So when one of my field agents in Clearwater recently noticed a hefty line-bearded gentleman wearing "dungaree" shorts, a Surf Style windbreaker, and hightop FILAs at the Phillies training complex, he took it upon himself to check into the situation.
Turns out it was exactly as you'd expect--a Mets scout charting Roy Halladay's daily workouts. The genius left his notebook unattended when his wife called to tell him about his daughters' (Gina, Tina, Gabriella, Maria, Mia, Angela, Noella, Isabella, Deena, and Gabagool) recital, and my spy donkey swooped in and ganked it.
6:00 AM Gets off treadmill. Display reads "Activity Complete! Good Job! Workout Summary: 150 minutes, 23.4 miles, Elevation 3,200 ft"
6:02 - 6:35 AM 924 one-handed push-ups
6:36 - 7:00 AM 1,328 standard push-up
7:00 - 7:05 AM nap
7:06 – 8:00 AM Reviews video of every 2011 opponent’s at-bats from the 2010 season, on fast-forward via iPad. Fills seven composition books with notes written in what appears to be Latin. Brilliant.
8:01 – 8:03 AM Consumes pitcher full of egg whites en route to ice bath
8:03 – 8:10 AM Lower body ice bath while military pressing clubhouse attendant for 10 sets of 15 reps each
8:11- 9:00 AM Sprints on stairs-first backwards, then forwards—both up and down, of entire Brighthouse complex
9:01 – 9:30 AM Re-chalks foul lines and batter’s box and fertilizes outfield grass with environmentally friendly totally organic mixture
9:30 – 10:00 AM Watches Rugrats
10:01 AM Kyle Kendrick arrives to complex
10:02 AM Halladay leaves complex via BMW 7-series with fat ass rims
10:53 AM Kendrick finishes workout and leaves complex
10:55 AM Halladay arrives back at complex with newly cleaned BMW 7-series with fat ass rims and pine tree air freshener in mirror. His clothes are a somewhat soiled, I think he may have washed car himself
10:56 – 11:30 AM Incalculable amount (in total weight and repetitions) of free weight training
11:31- 12:00 AM “Extreme” yoga, with ankle and wrist weights
12:01 AM – 12:05 PM Nap
12:06- 12:15 PM Another pitcher of egg whites, consumed this time with head of lettuce and a side of hand-braised bison.
12:16 – 1: 25 PM Crabwalks the stadium stairs while taking charity conference call
1:26 – 1:30 PM Jumping Jacks
1:31 – 3:30 PM Pitches simulated game against minor league affiliate left-handed. (3 hit shutout)
3:31 Tells minor leaguers he’s taking them to Pizza Hut… after he “does a few laps”
3:31 – 5:45 Runs laps
After that, the notes cut off, but there you have it. Way to go, ZWR spies.