Friday, January 21, 2011

A Clean, Level-Headed Response to the Kyle Kendrick Signing by a Real Life Nerd



Whenever I feel like reading about the farm system and getting confused by statistical measures I've never heard of and/or can't bring myself to care about understanding, I head on over to Phuture Phillies (I kid... it's a tremendous site for any fan, highly recommend it, check it out, etc.). Roughly to that second point I asked chief scribe James to give me a guest piece with his take on the recent re-signing of Kyle Kendrick.

You see, I was hoping for inclusion into some explanation floating in the ether as to how it was actually a shrewd move, because frankly I don't get it and assume Jonathan Franzen or my new title sponsor [yeah I don't have one screw you] would be just as good an option every fifth start. You know, a nice "No no no don't worry ZWR- Kendrick's BABIP was incredibly high last year, and his xFIP and park-adjusted ERA+ suggest that he's actually in the top third in terms of value for fifth starters"- some mumbo jumbo like that.

But no, instead I got this:

"i sat here at work for an hour, word document open, trying to outline my hate. and i cant do it. i dont know what is happening to me. i mean, i hate his dumb face. the deer in the headlights look. i just cant write it out. i wanted to. trust me, any chance i get to take a shot at kendrick is normally one im going to go after with all my force, but im struggling here. if something hits me later today ill send it along. this is....devastating."

There you go. YAY! Eh, we're still gonna win about 143 games so who really cares.

3 comments:

  1. http://cdn.bleacherreport.net/images_root/slides/photos/000/511/459/10135127-womens-and-mens-designer-jeans_display_image.jpg?1290049012

    ReplyDelete
  2. Nice pic. His girl has a poof

    ReplyDelete
  3. Where's the lock box where Kyle's penis is locked away?

    ReplyDelete

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