Thursday, March 3, 2011

A ZWR Commentary on Subliminal Messaging and Consumerism

Spring Training Update!

Our heroes have checked in, though admittedly record hardly matters, at 3-3 so far this Spring. One of the bigger stories out of Clearwater has actually been that of someone who's not playing, as Chase Utley's right knee tendinitis has prevented him from providing his trademark Pacific Surge. Between the white lines, the most impressive bat to date has been Benny Fresh Francisco, who's amassed ten total bases and knocked in five runs.
Could Francisco be the answer in right field, where the Phillies try to fill the void left by Jayson Werth? It's too soon to tell, though Dom Brown's 0-12 start (with eight strikeouts) admittedly has raised questions as to whether the rookie is ready to Rise Up and step into Showtime. If not, the youngster could find himself Axed from the opening day roster.

Another issue lingering around camp is whether Raul Ibanez can recapture some of 2009's Old Spice, when many bloggers and media members irresponsibly speculated he had perhaps been investing in Clear Power Gel. J-Roll has been on the field since day one, looking to recapture the Swagger of his 2007 MVP campaign, when he powered 30 Smooth Blasts beyond the outfield wall. Regardless of spring training, one thing is for sure-- this team has shown the ability to turn the switch when it comes to regular season Gameday.

Can Jimmy recapture the glide-on smoothness of 2007?
On the mound, Roy Halladay is- as always- like the Matterhorn: standing above all others, majestic, stoic, ever Cool. Cole Hamels is by all accounts carrying over the Zen mindset that the California native summoned last season in regaining his World Series MVP form. Cliff Lee is as Cool as Metal back home in Phillies pinstripes, and old Roy Oswalt's Musky demeanor makes him perfect complement to the stars around him.

All day (and playoff) protection
Lastly, don't sleep on Joe Blanton- the right hander who won 12 games back in 2009 came to camp in improved shape and many insiders expect him to be XTremely Solid.


  1. It's good to see Bard showing up healthy and ready to resume his role as The Clapper.

  2. I like your widget

  3. I was hoping Shane reviewed the Axe Body Spray.


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