Friday, April 22, 2011

A Comprehensive Debate Between Bullhorn Kid and Billy Ocean

It's been quite the week around these parts [which exist as a charming sub sect of a (basically) effed world],  what with the fan panic that followed a brief Phillies anemia (shall we localize), playoff hockey controversy (once more, please), geopolitical instability, daily reminders of the devastation in Japan, government in-fighting, and an ever-confusing economy.

To pull back allows one the overwhelming pondering that taunts as movable, though seems impossibly defeated. We dig in and push the boulder up the hill with each bit we read, re-tweet, listen to, record, email, blog, "like", podcast - the whole of social interaction is an "etc."- though with the passing step (however admirable constituted) you envisage clearer Polygnotus at work with brush, and the stone slipping from your grasp. Quite the task. Forever the task?

And we need some clarity, we yearn for focus. Prayers echo from the tired for, simply, voices to speak to us.

Today, we have those. And they're Bullhorn Kid and Billy Ocean. Debating. After the jump.

I, ZWR, editor of, the world's leading bolg about wanting to go to the zoo with Roy Halladay, will monitor the event- a comprehensive debate of those topics currently pressing.

Mr. Ocean, Mr. Bullhorn Kid- welcome.

Our first question, to Bullhorn Kid- Roy Halladay had an incredibly rough outing on Tuesday against the Brewers, though the Phillies were unable to score themselves. Which is of more concern?

Intense Kid is Intense

F%#$* C*^#$*&# S&*#%^ IN #*^#!^&&@&^! THEN ##$*^@!@&! DEAD & #$^@#! IN THE $^!&@

Billy Ocean, your rebuttal.


Wonderful, thank you. Billy Ocean- Gas prices are on a steady climb upward. What can be done to ease the burden on the American consumer?


To you, Bullhorn Kid.

Intense Kid is Intense

F%#$* C*^#$*&# S&*#%^ IN #*^#!^&&@&^! THEN ##$*^@!@&! DEAD & #$^@#! IN THE $^!&@

That's an interesting point. Mr. Ocean, I'll allow you 30 more seconds to address that.


Thank you.

The question is Billy's to start once again. You are known for your stance of record that when the going gets tough, the tough get going. How does this translate to the situation in Libya and the United States' reaction to the Gaddafi regime?


Bullhorn Kid, how do you respond to that?

Intense Kid is Intense

F%#$* C*^#$*&# S&*#%^ IN #*^#!^&&@&^! THEN ##$*^@!@&! DEAD & #$^@#! IN THE $^!&@

Interesting thoughts. That's an angle I'm sure many readers hadn't considered. 

Now we turn our attention back to domestic matters. Bullhorn Kid, we'll start with you. The question, regarding currency: what three things should the Fed do right now to prevent stagflation? Or, is it possible that stagflation has already arrived?

Intense Kid is Intense

F%#$* C*^#$*&# S&*#%^ IN #*^#!^&&@&^! THEN ##$*^@!@&! DEAD & #$^@#! IN THE $^!&@

Billy Ocean, your rebuttal?


Bullhorn Kid, I see you've requested a follow-up. Go ahead.

Intense Kid is Intense

F%#$* C*^#$*&# S&*#%^ IN #*^#!^&&@&^! THEN ##$*^@!@&! DEAD & #$^@#! IN THE $^!&@


To conclude, we'll discuss a matter that is near and dear to both your hearts, as fictional baseball bolg characters--the endless debate, if you will. Stat nerds vs. old school baseball purists. Clutch vs. non-clutch. OBP vs. grit. Mr. Ocean, what is your stance?

Steve Jeltz, WOOOOOOO!

Bullhorn Kid, the floor is yours. Bring it home for us.

 Intense Kid is Intense 

F%#$* C*^#$*&# BOBBY ABREU S&*#%^ IN #*^#!^&&@&^! THEN ##$*^@!@&! DEAD & #$^@#! IN THE $^!&@ 

Well, that will conclude today's debate. I'd like to thank both of our participants-- Mr. Ocean and Young Master Bullhorn Kid--I think this went very well and there was some substantive and intelligent dialogue between you two. 

May it serve as a benchmark for all future debates.


  1. Steve Jeltz is Billy Ocean. Billy Ocean is Tory Holt. Therefor: STEVE HOLT. --- The Southpaw

  2. I always thought Billy Ocean was Kurtis Blow?!?!?!?!?

  3. Billy Ocean and 10 of his friends robbed my casinos and my wife.


  4. I found the source of the Billy Ocean "WOOOOOO!"

    I'm not gonna tell you where it is exactly in the video, because you should watch the whole thing anyway.


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