Wednesday, May 4, 2011

Citizens Bank Park Security Hates Charming Wordplay


ZWR enthusiast Hal attended last night's affair with full designs on being a gentleman courtier. Fate (and security) rebuked, lending him the role- however unnatural to a man of his character and composition- of knight errant. But I will let him tale the tale (via email, girl):

Dear ZWR,

So, I decided to attend tonight's Phillies game with my brother. Before the game, like every game, I decide which ZWR shirt (Ed. note: yes, please) will be the lucky shirt to attend the game. Tonight I chose my now infamous "Eat Shift" shirt. I had previously worn my Eat Shift shirt to HLHIII playoff No-Hitter. During said playoff game, I was confronted by three security guards and asked to remove my shirt. I explained the shirt, pimped out ZWR and shared a laugh as they left me alone.
Tonight's game was different. I first got passed ticket security, who thought nothing of the shirt. As I was about to walk into the stadium, I was stopped by Phillies security and was told to "remove the shirt or leave the game." I explained that the shirt did not have any negative words and that it was actually a shirt supported our own Ryan Howard. They were having none of it. Once again, I tried to explain to them saying that ZooWithRoy is the best bolg on the interweb and that provided the best shirts, I was shot down and forced to turn my Eat Shift shirt inside out.

That is my story. Although, the game ended with a Coal Hammels CG, I fear that my lucky Eat Shift shirt (3-0 overall) will no longer be allowed in CBP.

A loyal reader and supporter,

Hal, I offer you this: You will go dressed half as scholar and half as captain, because on the island I'm giving you, arms are needed as much as letters, and letters as much as arms.  

If anyone has a tale involving their ZWR shirt, please e-mail them to me using the link in the menu above.


  1. The Security GuardMay 4, 2011 at 9:18 AM

    Oh. I thought it said Sh*t. My bad.

  2. Security gave me a hard time about my Eat Shift shirt on Saturday too. The guard said they might ask me to take it off and I laughed and kept going.

  3. Wordplay is serious binnis.

  4. Get a piece of red tape to make the F an R. "Eat ShiRt." Tell them that it is your "ball park eating shirt". Then remove the tape once safely inside. Undercover ZWR!

  5. I have had no issues with my CBP/OMFG, but I usually enter wearing a hoodie (it is only early May.)

    If they ask me to take that shift off this summer I'm totally gonna strip down to my bra and walk to my seat. HOW YA LIKE THEM APPLES CBP SECURITY!!!


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