Thursday, May 26, 2011

So Wilson Valdez Pitched This Morning (5.26.11 v. Reds, aka, "YOU SHOULD HAVE HUNG OUT, MANNN")



Comedian Dave Attell has a bit in his standup routine (link) about how, no matter how late you stay, the fun always starts 10 minutes after you leave a party. And you inevitably get a call from your buddy the next day and he's all--"YOU SHOULD HAVE HUNG OUTTTTT, MANNNNNN"-- and then he tells you some outlandish and awesome story that makes you feel like a donkey for not staying even later.

So yeah, that was about 90% of us last night who couldn't, wouldn't, or for whatever reason (apathy, babies, jobs, mortgage payments, blacked out drunk, etc..) didn't watch (or attend--no seriously, 10 years from now more than 100,000 will people will claim to have attended this game and stayed all 19 innings) the entire game, and regretfully went to sleep before the 19th inning.

Click for full-sized awesomeness sent to me by a Wharton kid


The game saw Danys Baez and his big dumb face pitch five (5!!) scoreless innings of extra frame relief, Carlos Ruiz playing third base (yes, please) and then-- it happened.

Thanks to @adefran for the photo illustration of Ed Wolfstein's pic
Wilson Valdez--the goated one-- pitched last night this morning.

And glorious and outlandish and awesome it was. He hit 90 on the radar gun, got Joey Votto to fly out to deep center, shook off signs from Dave Sardineface (I mean seriously), PEGGED SCOTT ROLEN (OMG insta-hero, swoon!), and then got Jay Bruce and his opposing pitcher to pop up.

Pic from the ZoZone (Mitch II not included)

SO BARBASOL'D. Pic from @bigleaguestew
All in all, it was a pretty historical night for the Fightins.  

You should have hung outtttt, mannnnn.

Philly.com

15 comments:

  1. Shoulda hung out, man. It was awesome.

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  2. I'll have the ticket stub to prove that I was there, at least - and probably the adrenaline rush when I explain it because I stayed the whole 19 innings - and got to work by 8:58am the following morning.

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  3. Dude I was there the whole time. It was intense. And I stayed in my seat from the 10th-19th, only leaving once to go totally make out with this hot chick (SMOKING HOT) for like 25 minutes. outside McFadden's.

    What? Her name? Uh... Sarah. I'm sure you guys don't know her. She's not from around here. I think she goes to another school. But she was DEFINITELY real.

    It was awesome, bro.

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  4. I was there mannnn

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  5. That's some high quality wikipediaing, broseph.

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  6. You guys don't believe Danger he fell asleep in the 12th inning and me and ZWR kept taking pictures with him making funny faces and then these really hot triplets came over and me and ZWR and meech were like "Oh hey triplets you guys wanna make out and then decorate Danger up like Halloween?" so we did and then we built a beer cup castle all around you and took more pictures and laughed and then during the 14th inning stretch we sang Proud Mary at the top of our lungs and almost woke you up but then you started snoring and tossing and turning and knocked the entire beer cup castle over and some cleaning guy got real pissed and called the cops and you got ejected and started yelling "I know my rights!" was totally hilarious then the triplets got ejected for smoking cigarettes and meech pitched the 18th inning and ZWR stole a cop car and we went to Wendy's.

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  7. @crane sounds like hangover 3

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  8. I DIPPED MY FRIES IN MY FROSTY

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  9. Minority stake in the Mets sold to Lt. Louis Einhorn. "Einhorn is Finkle! Finkle is Einhorn! Einhorn is a man!"

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  10. @ Crane & ZWR - YOU GUYS SHUT UP SHE WAS REAL AND I DIDN'T WANNA GO TO WENDY'S ANYWAY.

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  11. You really should send Valdez a free "fifth starter" t-shirt, he earned it.

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  12. Well I really was there. :) I got photos. However I know you are not interested since I'm a girl and my shirt was still on.

    Oh and don't be a donkey. I am a "responsible adult" with a job and mortgage. It's just sleep, peeps. You can live with a few hours less of it now and then!

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  13. I was there man... until after the 10th when I had to leave the game (which I NEVER leave early) to catch my 11:33 train home to DE. Ughhhh I wish I could have stayed.

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  14. I hung out, man. In front of my TV from the first pitch to the last pitch.

    Babe Valdez... who'd have thunk it?

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