Tuesday, July 26, 2011

Baseball Brospectus Trade Deadline Organizational Assessment

Here at zoowithroy.com it's an unrelenting goal to provide you donkeys with the sharpest and most comprehensive baseball analysis on the web. To that end, I reached out recently to one of my favorite publications, Baseball Brospectus, to get their take on where the Phils- from a farm to stars, holistic perspective- stand as we approach the non-waiver trade deadline. As always, their hard-hitting, intelligent evaluation did not disappoint. Enjoy.

Pro Bros

Aces and Sh*t

Roy Halladay – Awwwww Shucky Ducky.

Cliff Lee – He’s all like, “Yo, whatever, bro”, and I can relate.

Roy Broswalt – This kid never forgot where he came from bro and that’s real much respect.

Cole Hamels – Such a chill bro that I wouldn’t be surprised if he made his wife chug a Smirnoff during their wedding reception and was like, “Survive that, bro!”

Vance Worley The Vanimal, Bro – New wave killer rockin the brauxhawk and beer goggles.

Ryan Madson – Oh snap Mad Dog has a fuse shorter than short yo.

Antonio BastardBRO – Freakshow level scary kid come at him I dare you you’re gonna look stupid plain and simple.

Mike Stutes – Not for nothin.


Carlos Broiz – He’s the CEBro of this whole things MAKING ALL THE CALLS like Bill Gates and Jack Welch up in this piece but only kid wouldn’t cause no recession.


Chase Utley – Keyser Broze level bad yo he’s the best.

Placido Brolanco – Bro this kid’s head is so big we call him Mayor McCheese but for real he can hit like it’s no joke.

Jimmy Brollins – Straight swagger fresh to death, I once saw him chug a vodka and Red Bull and then hit a ball like six hunny.

Raul Ibronez – Yo this old head is ancient as sh*t you might see him singing on street corners but straight spits that classic game hahahaha love it.

Shane Victorinbro – People step to him because he’s so small but I swear this kid’s the sh*t bro he’ll straight smack you in the mouth like his bro BJ Penn.

Domonic Bro-wn – Aw man, Marlo Stansfield hahahahaha

Target Bros

Carbros Brotran – Kid has skills just needs some new boys to roll with he got held back by his weaksauce crew.

Hunter Six Pence None The Richer, Bro—not for nothing I used to love that song straight up I’m not even gonna lie.

Brose Mesa – Joe Table got the product son you know where the hook-up is hahahaha


Jarred Brosart—You’d hate to give up a guy as chill as this but if that’s what it takes to win the whole enchilada sometimes you just gotta man up and ice a bro when he least expects it.

Bronathan Singleton ("Bro in the Hood")—Oh sh*t, son, straight up.

Bro-dy Colvin—Don’t actually know nothing about this kid but for real his name’s literally Bro, bro.

Jesse Biddle – We call him “BIDNESS” nuff said.

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