Friday, July 29, 2011

Charlie hits the town with John Bolaris


CHARLIE HITS THE TOWN WITH BOLARIS



Ay - I thought you said we were goin out to dinner? What's all this tiny weird lookin stuff? I want like a steak or somethin.




Charlie my man you are running with J-Bo tonight. We're at a fusion lounge. There's no steak here. Well, maybe a little rump roast if ya know what I mean LOL.


This place don't have no rump roast. I don't even see a knife on this table. Only like tiny little billiard cues.


Chopsticks bro.


That's chapstick? Gross I ain't usin that.


I said chopsticks. Those are chopsticks, Charlie. You use them to grab your food.


Like in that karate movie??? I ain't eatin no bugs.


Don't worry about the food. Here drink this, it'll calm you down.


PFFFFFFTTTTT - EW! This tastes BAD. What the heck did you just put in my cup?


Sake, Charlie. It's rice wine.


Rice wine? That tastes like crap made a baby with old vinegar in a hot barn.


Stop making a scene! Here just have some water. You see those two girls over there? They've been eyeing up since we sat down bro. I'm calling them over.


Yeah well like I hope you better be talkin about some waitresses that are gonna come over here and take my food order cause I'm starvin.


Hellllllooo. You would like us sit down with you?


Hi. I'll have the meatloaf please and a glass of beer please.


Sorry ladies... what he meant was, would you lik-


You are weatherman yes?


Well um... heh... yes. Yes I am.


Do shot.


What is it?


Shot. Do.


Ok. Mmmmm.... let me guess - Sex on the Beach?


And you yes?


I'll have the meatloaf please and a glass of beer please.


What is with meatloaf all he say is meatloaf meatloaf. What is your name mister meatloaf?


Charles Fuqua Manuel, Junior. And I ain't doin no shots he just gave me one that tasted like a can of dip spit.


Well well well looks like you two boys are having a good time.


Beat it Schwartz.


Just stopping by to say hello and I'll be on my way. You don't look so hot John.


I'm fine Glenn. Let's get outta here ladies. Charlie are you coming?


Who is Glenn?


High pressure systable comin from the east with a wedge salad strong winds and possible tsunami jellyfish ina backpack storm of the century dopplerrrrrr


Is working. Here Mr. Charlie do shot.


What'd the heck you do to Bolero???


Is fine my man. Grow up and do shot come on bro we are going to discotheque.


I BEEN DONE GROWN UP. Wait now who the heck are you?


AHAHAHAHAHAH CHOLLY MANUEL! HIIIIIIIIGGGGHHHHH HOPES. OOPS THERE GOES A MOTHER CLUBBER LANG HAM. WHO WANTS TO BREAKDANCE WITH THE WEATHER AUTHORITY?!


Check please.


Postscript: If you don't know who John Bolaris is, it's ok. You can read about him here and here and oh maybe here too.

6 comments:

  1. Aww, Charlie played ball in Japan and speaks Japanese. He knows what sake is. :(

    ReplyDelete
  2. Yeah, couldn't get past Charlie not knowing anything about Japanese cuisine. He speaks Japanese! (Price is Right horn)

    ReplyDelete
  3. serious commenters are serious

    - Comment Posted From My Smart Man's Phone

    ReplyDelete
  4. Agreed. It's obvious that all sake tastes the same and Charlie would've known that right away because he can speak Japanese so he definitely likes sake and also not believable that he forgets everyone's name and also those girls are probably not even from Russia and why is Alex Ovechkin there would never happen? :(
    (Gong Show siren)

    ReplyDelete
  5. This script is so unrealistic, right guys? This probably never happened. Go back to posting scripts of stuff that happened for real. Right? Yeah?

    ReplyDelete

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