Tuesday, July 5, 2011

A Message From Shane Victorino

Dude did you see me fall the other day it was pretty embarrassing I mean but still I was like ‘dude I’m gonna gun you bro’ but then I thought about how I was in Canada and that’s kind of neat because I’m from another country too and then I thought about how crazy those hockey guys are straight punching each other in the f***ing domes and sh*t and the goalie pads are so hilarious and then that guy from the Cornelia Marie who hit sick nasty bombs every day – what’s a meter? - is just standing there at third with his dumb ears and I’m like ready set go and then flop faceplant. But if you think about it it’s way less bad than the other day when that guy at second was like ‘I’m tagging up’ so I was like, ‘sweet’ but then he was all –SIKE- and ran but thank God Dom Brown didn’t run out a ground ball so everyone forgot. Wait anyhow hey please do me a solid and vote for me to play in the Winter Classic the All Star game it would be an honor this year it’s at Diamond Bag stadium and I love Arizona it’s hot like Hawaii and I’ll say ‘Aloha” when I see my boy Big Papi and we’ll hug and everyone will lose their sh*t and crack up because he’s huge and I’m small except for my head I mean we did this before so I know Philly fans are the sh*t at using the internet to vote for things that’s why the Democrats always win  I think I deserve it this year too I heard everyone at the beginning of the season worrying when Chase got hurt and our right fielder retired but I had a plan I’ll so offend to make offence a skill, Redeeming time when men think least I will. And oh hey thanks before I forget there was this big firework show and i love fireworks haha but there was fireworks last night all throughout the country to celebrate our big win against the Marlins or whatever and look that's me in the fireworks! I love Katie Perry too she's pretty talented if you know what I mean haha how about you guys?


  1. I'm predicting a solid career in politics for Shane after he retires from being a Phillies.


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