Thursday, September 1, 2011

BREAKING NEWS EXCLUSIVE JIMMY ROLLINS STORY DEVELOPING


ZWR #1 MOST TRUSTED® FOR BREAKING NEWS


Being an good denizen of our nation's capital, I followed custom and rushed sheep-like to the tweeted location of my favorite ethnic food truck for lunch. Being a good boy raised in the Northeastern United States as a young child during the mid-80s with an extended family that owned now fewer than eleventeen Camaros, I was dutifully listening to Billy Joel while I walked. "Who needs a house out in Hackensack, is that all you get for your money?"

Hackensack. Huh. Then this happened:
Swag.
What could it all mean? Read the SHOCKING CONCLUSION after the jump...


I mulled it over for a moment (roughly 14 seconds) before the answer hit me like a satchel full of hollywood swag dropped from an upside-down airplane on a rare postage stamp:


?

BONUS EXTENDED COVERAGE:


YEAH GIRL I GOT YOU!



ZWR #1 MOST TRUSTED® FOR BREAKING NEWS

3 comments:

  1. Mustache isn't falling off.

    ReplyDelete
  2. Seriously though, why can't this movie be remade! It would be perfect with a more modern twist.

    Will Smith as Montgomery Brewster
    Kevin James as Spike Nolan
    Mila Kunis as Angela Drake

    ReplyDelete

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