Friday, September 23, 2011

Phillies Eliminated From Playoff Contention

Phightins fans worst fears came to fruition last night, when a sixth straight loss eliminated the defending and current National League East Champions from playoff contention. 

"Washington has a great squad, what can I say?" commented first baseman Ross Gload. "We left it all on the field." Gload, a warrior, took a cortisone shot prior to the game in an effort to curb his acute lack of talent.

Though he did not play, Ryan Howard couldn't help but 
dejectedly walk the base paths in his uniform.

Despite a line-up that featured star prospect John Bowker and Pete Orr anchoring clean-up slugger Raul Ibanez, the Phillies couldn't solve Nationals pitcher Brad Peacock. 

Peacock, making only his second career start, nimbly handled the broom that swept away the remnants of this forgettable series and, some would argue mercifully, cleaned away any thoughts of playoff glory. For this year, any way. 

"Oh we'll be back and better than ever in 2012", declared season opener hero Ben Francisco, who went 0-2 in the loss and saw his average fall to .246. 

"Put that in your papers- I guarantee it. Like Mark Messier. And the Braves will be Martin Brodeur. And I think John Mayberry will be Stephane Matteau."



Okay, no, but for serious this really is in the Washington Times today:
The Nationals made the Phillies look silly for most of the last four games. They were the ones getting the timely hits; they were the ones with the starting pitchers who seemed untouchable. The Nationals were the ones dropping three-run homers, like Morse’s on Thursday, into the bullpen as the final straw on Oswalt’s night.
Curly W's all-around!

Have fun in October, Natinals. Enjoy your vacation.


  1. It's alright, B-team Phillies. We'll get 'em next year!

  2. Hilarious.. I listen to them turds on the MASN station when they play the nats.. and it is sickening.. Fp. Santangelo is quite possible the biggest ass kisser of all time, having to hear how good a 92 mph fastball right over the plate to a taking hitter is. Also.. how the nats would have won more games had they not lost so many.

    Forgot the nats were bout.. 20 games back.


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