Friday, November 4, 2011

Costume Contest Prize Guest Post, by AWESOME EMMA (Must read)


So I had a Halloween costume contest for which the winner was awarded a guest post on this very here bolg. As you recall, the winner of the contest turned out to be Emma dressed as Buddy the Elf.  And according to her mom, Emma was so excited to win that she started working on her guest post immediately. And thanks to a fortuitous day off from school, Emma's guest post was kind of like a field trip. I don't want to spoil anything--and I implore you to read everything below in its glorious entirety--but I think we can all agree that Emma is going places in life. Because this is incredible. I'd say that we may have to introduce Emma to the Future Governor of Ohio, but frankly I'm not sure even he's cool enough.

Please read this. --Z

Enter Emma:

I WONNED!!! Thank YOU for picking me as the 2011 winner of the First Annual ZWR Costume Contest! This is the most special thing that ever happened to me in my WHOLE entire life. ZWR has inspired me to write about things that I’ve always wanted to do and now I can inspire others to do the same. I am the BIGGEST fan of the movie Elf. Ever since I saw the movie for the very first time I wanted to do THIS and ZWR gave me the inspiration. NOTE: Don’t try this at home kids.

Editor's note: O.M.G. Yes Please
After my super fun ride up the escalator, I wanted to go to the bookstore because I LOVE books and they are really GOOD for your brain. Once I got inside, I thought THIS would be fun.

!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
“I’m in a stooore and I’m siiinging.” NOTE: People look at you kinda funny but I think you should give it a try. The last thing on my list of things that I have been wanting to do is THIS:

Emma hereby officially awarded Coolest Kid Ever award in perpetuity.
THE DOUGIE!!! Teach me how to Dougie, (teach me), teach me how to Dougie. Note: It’s A LOT easier than I thought. You should try it too!

I’d also really like talk about my FAVORITE TEAM in the whole wide WORLD, the PHILLIES. My mom has been taking me to games since I was only a little kid. My favorite player is Chase Utley. He makes me warm inside and my tongue starts to swell. Oh yeah, don’t forget about Ben Francisco. That’s fun to say, Francisco, Francisco. Most importantly, we MUST not forget the BEST pitcher in all of baseball, including this side of the Wild West AND the other side too, the one who inspired this bolg, ROY HALLADAY! My mom took THIS photo of him at a game we went to:

Emma knows her audience
Taa-Daaa!! I think he is the BOMB. He pitches like a SUPERSTAR and it takes a lot of COURAGE to do that while everyone is watching. When he pitched his perfect game, I think it brought THOUGHTS to the other player’s BRAINS that you should NEVER MESS WITH ROY HALLADAY.

Buddy had a Code of the Elves so I’d like to start a Code of the Phillies:

1.) Treat EVERY game like the World Series.
2.) There is room for everyone on the NICE LIST, except the M_ts fans.
3.) The BEST way to spread Phillies cheer is by singing High Hopes for all to hear.

Thanks again to the really fabulous panel of judges who picked me as the winner, ZWR, Craney, Danger Guerrero, Vince the Brewer and the supermodel guy, Alex Reardon. You have the best bolg ever in the history of bolgs. I hope I inspired someone else to try the things you’ve always wanted to do, like ZWR inspired me (Ed. note: *breaths on finger nails, rubs them on shoulder*). I ‘m so appreciative of this prestigious award and I hope I made you proud.

I’d like to tell the other contestants: you really did a good job. Please don’t be sad. Your costumes were lovely.

P.S. JAYSON WERTZ IS A COTTON-BEARDED-NINNY-MUGGINS

P.S.S. I never won anything in my entire life and have always wanted a trophy. Is there any way you can give me a trophy, please? (Emma, we'll see what we can do. --Z)

Sincerely,
Awesome Emma

Frankly, this made me happier than anything ever. Emma (and her Mom, Bridget) totally rule. I don't really know what else to say. My work here is done. 

34 comments:

  1. Epic. Word up, Emma!!

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  2. Emma, please tell your mom to buy me a new computer, because I spit coffee all over mine once I got to the Dougie.

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  3. I love, love, love The Code of the Phillies.

    Awesome!

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  4. All over the Phillie Code, kid. Good work!

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  5. This is the best essay I have ever read in my life. You give me hope for the future. I am going to try to use the phrase COTTON BEARDED NINNY MUGGINS in a sentence this weekend.

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  6. Awesome Emma posts monthly? It's well deserved!

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  7. this has been a horrible week, and this post was sorely needed. thank you thank you thank you.

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  8. AMAZING!

    What about introducing her to the Bullhorn Kid?

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  9. Code of the Phillies Tee Shirt. I want one.

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  10. You might as well give up, rest of the Internet, because you can't beat this. The Internet is essentially over.

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  11. I so want to buy Emma a trophy.

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  12. Emma is the greatest ! Definitely Code of the Phillies shirt ! ZWR keep us going through the winter.

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  13. Emma the elf holiday edition tees!! Great job emma!

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  14. This kid is awesome. Bravo, Emma!

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  15. I agree with the donkeys that said the internet was wonned. It's over. This kid rules and when does the t-shirt come out?

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  16. Wow - my faith in kids is now restored. Mom definitely did something right with her and should write a parenting book! And yes, Emma totally should be a guest bolg poster!

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  17. THIS KID WILL BREAK FACES AT RECESS USING HER AMAZINGNESS!

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  18. awesome post, emma! i am behind the code of the phillies 100%

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  19. The eff you mean "I" had a costume contest, penguin. I WILL NOT BE IGNORED.

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  20. Awesome Emma! M_ets fans smell like beef and cheese!

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  21. EMMA! You rock! I'm totally adopting your Code of the Phillies!

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  22. Seriously you guys Emma is the coolest and so is her mom.

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  23. Concur. I'm putting together an offer to make Emma full-time staff. It involves lots of trophies.

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  24. Great job Emma. She and her Mom are both awesome and I should know because I'm their Auntie. You did good Emma. I'm proud of you.

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  25. I say we all chip in together and get this trophy for Emma: http://www.18thmass.com/blog/media/2/20091104-World%20Series%20trophy%201.jpg

    (Or, maybe the Phillies can do it for her.)

    This post is great. Flawless, amazing, hilarious, creative, wonderful. Those may be a lot of words, but I don't think there's enough to say how awesome this is.

    -Mr. Poods

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  26. Aside from Emma calling me a, "guy".... I love this post! Awesome job Emma!!!!

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  27. I feel unworthy of having read this post - THAT is how awesome it is.

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  28. Just when I thought ZWR couldn't get better. Enter EMMA. !!!

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  29. Alex, you're gorgeous, but if Emma says you're a guy, you're a guy. And I'm gay by association. So it is written, so it shall be.

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  30. Elf + the Phillies?! This is the absolute greatest thing I have ever read. Thanks Awesome Emma!

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