Friday, December 30, 2011

ROY HALLADAY TRAVELS TO THE AMAZON AND RESCUES NATIVE BOY FROM GIANT ANACONDA ATTACK


Oh hellllll nawww

ZWR enthusiast Amy sent along a fascinating link last night concerning our hero Roy Halladay. The story's about a little fishing trip that HLHIII went on earlier this month with buddies Chris Carpenter (who I assume threw his line so well that neither the fish nor water were able to make any sort of solid contact with his gear), laughably rich lefty B.J. Ryan, and professional angler Skeet Reese.

Thumbs Up!

Only this trip was to the Amazon. Yeah, that Amazon. 

Like, in the wild Amazon with seven-legged alligators and giant killer fish and SyFy movie plots just waiting to happen everywhere. 

And then this happened:
Me and Doc Halladay even came across a local, sitting bare naked on a tree by the river. What we were able to figure out is that he was fishing in the river for tropical fish to sell for aquariums when he got attacked by an anaconda.
The snake apparently bit him on the [butt] but he was able to free himself before the snake wrapped him up. Instead the snake wrapped around his motor on the back of his little 14 foot dugout canoe and tore it off the back of his boat. Doc and I helped him gather his gear and flip the boat back over and then towed him home.

I'd just like to pause for a moment and reflect on this totally true, not-made-up-by-ZWR story.

Roy Halladay, Phillies ace, tireless humanitarian, workout warrior and bolg muse is BATTLING GIANT DEADLY ANACONDAS IN THE AMAZON DURING THE OFFSEASON. I can now never quit this bolg. You know that, right? Also, local natives are now left to ponder the circumstance that led to a puzzling face-less anaconda in their waters.

And yes, B.J. Ryan totally would have blown the save.



RECAP:




15 comments:

  1. Is there anything this Adonis DOESN'T do?!

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  2. There's snakes out there this big?

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  3. Is there anything this Adonis DOESN'T do?!

    No.

    Instead of Chuck Norrissisms, I think it is high time we move onto Doc Halladayisms.

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  4. There is something he doesn't do....get out of the first inning without giving up a run.

    See game 5 NLDS

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  5. Anon: You're a moran.

    There might not have been a Game 5 had Cliff Lee not choked away Game 2.

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  6. SICK BURN WE'RE ROASTED

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  7. I'm an outdoor writer who works frequently with the host Skeet Reese. I got to do a story about their trip to the Amazon for my website.

    It even has a picture of the naked fisherman who got attacked.

    http://www.advancedangler.com/FeatureArticle.asp?SelectValue=Jungle%20Safari

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  8. I bet Roy made a belt and shoes out of it

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  9. There will be some discussion upon his return as to what he can and can not do while on vacation. Anaconda wrassling will no longer be deemed acceptable behavior.

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  10. "My anaconda don't want none unless you got BUNS, hun!"
    :-D

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  11. want to buy a shirt that has a picture of the snake and says cuttered on it

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  12. I see you spend an unforgettable time there! Nice!

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  13. Yea andacondas can get really big but thank god i dont have a monster snake cus i have an andaconda its really cool

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