It turns out ZWR's hottest bachelor isn't a bachelor at all. All may not be lost, though. Jim's donkey friends (I'll call each Giancarlo) might just be available to sit next to while you steal- under the cover of your oversized, designer sunglasses- recondite glances at the Buster Posey of Donkey Nation as he sips half price domestic pints. Here, I'll let Jim explain:
To the lovely ladies of ZWR,
Let me start by saying that I am so totally flattered by your invitations to rendezvous at business establishments that serve food and drink. I was surprised when I saw ZWR's matchmaking post, and all of your compliments have made me feel blush in the face and warm in the heart (Editor's Note: SMOOTH). You're the best female fan base in the MLB, and you've been making baseball beautiful in Philadelphia since 1883…. You gals rock! However, I am currently going steady with a wonderful (and smokin' hot) (Editor's Note: Not as smooth) young lady. But be not saddened! I have many male friends who are more handsome than I, and (almost) as big of Phillies fans. We'd totally be down for double-dating, Phillies tailgating, riding tandem bikes, playing team charades, buying you ZWR shirts, baking cookies together, etc… So let me know!
Sad face. I'm here for you girls, nonetheless. If you want to go out with the friend of a guy whose picture you saw on a (preeminent) bolg about wanting to go to the zoo with Phillies pitcher Roy Halladay just let me know and I'll dial up one of the Giancarlos!