Friday, May 18, 2012

So Roy Halladay Pitched Yesterday (5.17.12 v the Cubs (incl. FACE-BREAKING Photoshop))



Me and Danger Guerrero


HAHAHAHA dude it's the best when the Phillies win, and last night was number five in a row. It's even better when Roy Halladay's on the hill straight mowing dorks down like my neighbor's kid (who I offered a beer to the other day upon his cuttering my grass only to have him be all, "I'm only 16" and then I was all, "Ayden, that was a test- and you just failed").

AP Photo, taken with melt-proof lens
"But ZWR I know it's SRHPY and you're extra unfocused on Fridays as it is but the topic du jour is Chooch so before you get any further maybe tell us how #VOTEFORCHOOCH did we didn't watch the game or read about it before coming to the bolg so basically you're our source on the matter!"


Oh, you know Chooch went 4-5 with 3 RBI.

AP

"Oh so like the norm?"
Is Carlos the most overlooked? Ye'sir. Did Carlos have pitches tooked? Ye'sir. Though the fans be like Arnold if you fear the Gooch all you gotsta do is roll up with the guy called Chooch.

"That made no sense whatsoever."
Your face makes no sense buttsoever.

"That's wonderful. Hey, how did Roy do? We need to know, we need to know, tell us Zeee-Dub-Arrr because we need to knowwwwww!"
It was good stuff: 8 IP, 7 H, 0 BB (duh), 3 ER (pity runs), 4 K (2 C, 2 SC).

"Only four Ks?"
99 pitches, bro. 7 baserunners. Cold and efficient. No time for paragraphs when one or two pointed sentences can do the trick.

And Now Here is a Really Deep Facebreaking Photoshop Featuring a Chicago Artistic Landmark

"Ghosts of Chicago", 2012, Z.W. Roy

"But Zoo (can I call you Zoo?), what about that t-shirt and discount code you put out yesterday isn't it totally relevant to today's issue of SRHPY? My whole Twitter and Facebooks got deleted and I can't find the info anywhere-- can you re-post????"

Oh girl you know it. Get 15% off of my t-shirts with the code "VOTEFORCHOOCH" at checkout. The only trick is that you have to spend $30 or more but that shouldn't be a problem for you because my market research reveals that ZWR readers are affluent and cultured members of society and/or reckless spenders. So go, click here: http://zoowithroy.spreadshirt.com

TODDLER SIZES?! Toddler sizes.

1 comment:

  1. "No sense buttsoever"

    I spit out my coffee.

    ZWR, you're the best around.

    ReplyDelete

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