Wednesday, July 18, 2012

Beer, Bocce, and Attractive People

Hey kids, you're probably wondering what that endearing banner ad up at the top of the bolg is all about. Well I'll tell you what it's about you big dork- it's awesomeface bocce in Philadelphia!!! Holy butt. I know. Here's the scoop from the official organizational literature I was kindly asked to share:

Major League Bocce, the nation’s largest organized bocce league, has found its way to the City of Brotherly Love bringing with it a fresh take on a sport steeped in tradition and heritage. Long thought of as a game only played by older, Italian men, Major League Bocce has revamped bocce’s image, attracting thousands of young adult players in their 20s and 30s to the sport. 
Major League Bocce is currently registering players for its Summer 2012 season. Games are played every Wednesday at 7:00 pm in Penn Park (University City) starting the week of July 25th. Teams play once a week for 8 weeks, and at the end of the season winners are awarded sizable donations to a charity of their choosing.

Peer-reviewed demographic research:
  • Average age is 27 years
  • Drinking is encouraged
  • This is a great way to spend a relaxing time after work to meet people, engage in some friendly competition, and drink in public
  • Players get a team shirt, exclusive food and beer discounts at the bar after games, and a free party at the end of the season
  • You can sign up by creating a new team, joining an existing team, or individually and we'll place you on a team
  • ZWR Enthusiasts get $5 off of their summer registration fee with the code ZOOBOCCE 
In case you're still not getting it: 
Dude, this is what the hot young cool kids do these days- a means to be somewhat competitive while getting drunked/hanging out/hooking up. 

Bocce nights make for great stories at the food trucks the next day or come Quizzo. It's fun. Here's a quick scene representing what's guaranteed likely to happen to YOU any given week:

[Attractive person approaches you post-game]

Attractive Person: Hey there, these (domestic microbrews with ironic names) sure are great, aren't they?

You: I'll say!

Attractive Person (flirtatiously): Hi, I'm Riley.

You: I'm donkeyface. Nice to meet you.

[Awkward pause]

Attractive Person: So what do you do?

You: Oh, I'm in SEO for a cool little company. It's pretty relaxed, but intense, you know. How about you?

Attractive Person: I go to law school.

You: Cool. Hey, you wanna get drinks sometime?

[Attractive Person looks down to her beer bottle with a charming smirk. You laugh.]

You: I'm such an idiot. You know what I mean.

Attractive Person: I'd love to.

[You exchange Twitter handles, Facebooks, Tumblrs, and iPhone numbers. Then you rejoin your BROs and you all give each other high fives and blow up some fist bumps and everyone agrees bocce is the best thing ever.]

So dude, if you live in or near the city of Philadelphia, there's really no reason you shouldn't be playing bocce in Penn Park every week. 


  1. I live very near the city but don't have a car. There's a reason. :(

  2. So are YOU playing or what, penguin?


Leave a comment, or whatever.

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