9:43 AM UPDATE: No Update
10:22 AM UPDATE: No Update
12:00 noon-ish: Shane Victorino traded to LA Dodgers of Los Angeles for some guy named Lindblom and a guy named Ethan Ca$h Martin. I think they're both pitchers.
It has begun. I've blockaded my cubicle with empty copy paper boxes and taken shelter beneath its poorly made desk. May leave soon to scavenge for supplies. This could be a long day. Hanging in, for now.
12:29 PM Update: Hunter Pence traded to the San Francisco Giants for what reporters are calling, "nothing good." No names yet on the scrubs we got, but Matt Gelb is calling it a "fire sale." This is great.
I'm now huddling on the floor covered in fax cover sheets. So cold. Scared. Hoping these new guys have funny names that make for funny t-shirts. Not saying goodbye, but
12:39 PM Update: This calls for the Puffy Dance