Zoo With Roy staff reporter ZWR was able to sit down (Editor's Note: BEFORE last night's game ... you'll see) with one of the Phillies' recently acquired pitching prospects and ask a few questions that will help fans to become better-acquainted with the newest Fightin'.
ZWR: Nate, welcome aboard!
Nate Schierholtz: Thanks a bunch, Rick.
ZWR: So introduce yourself to Donkey Nation- How has life in the minors treated you? Without getting ahead of ourselves, when do you expect to make the bigs?
Nate Schierholtz: Dude, I’ve been in the majors for like five years.
ZWR: Wait what? You’re not a quote unquote top prospect?
Nate Schierholtz: No. I’m a real player.
ZWR: So, um, Nate-- what's your best pitch?
Nate Schierholtz: I'm. I'm an ... outfielder [his voice trails off]
ZWR: Oh! Right. You're that guy that used to be on the Pirates and Braves. Nate!
Nate Schierholtz: No, no. That was Nate McClouth. My last name is Schierholtz, I've been with the Giants since 2007.
ZWR: Really? Weird, don't remember that. Did you play against us in the 2010 NLCS?
Nate Schierholtz: Yes, I did.
ZWR: Oh, well you must have done great. Sorry, I think I've blocked that series out of my memory...
Nate Schierholtz: Well, actually, I was 0-3 with three strikeouts... [self-deprecating chuckle].
ZWR: So, wait, why’d you only bat three times?
Nate Schierholtz: I- I don’t make those decisions.
ZWR: I know, but that team … man, its offense STUNK.
Nate Schierholtz: We beat you, didn’t we?
ZWR: You mean “us”, chump.
Nate Schierholtz: Whatever. Let’s get back to the interview.
ZWR: I mean, I don’t even … I still wish you luck and all. I’m just kind of surprised.
Nate Schierholtz: What is this interview even for? You said something about a blog-
Nate Schierholtz: Pardon?
ZWR: Yeah look, anyway. Uh, how did you react when you found out you had been traded to the best team in the universe?
Nate Schierholtz: Oh. Um, well, I was pretty surprised. I had backed off my repeated requests to be traded in recent months so I thought that we had come to an understanding and that I would be sticking around with the Giants.
ZWR: Wait-- you were making trade demands?!
Nate Schierholtz: I don't know if I'd call them demands, but--
ZWR: [interrupting] HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA-
Nate Schierholtz: [stares blankly at ZWR] What?
ZWR: -AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAHAAAAAAAA. Oh man, hoo boy. That's rich.
Nate Schierholtz: Why? It happens all the time.
ZWR: Um, actually, it really doesn't. And usually the guys who do that sort of thing, you know... they, uh, well... how should I put this? Okay I'm just going to say it-- they're usually really good players!
Nate Schierholtz: Are we almost done?
ZWR: No but seriously, what's your out pitch?
Nate Schierholtz: ...
Nate Schierholtz: I'm leaving.