know I’ve asked for jackets the last two years, but this really is the
one I have to get this time. Everyone is getting it. They’re so awesome,
too. Please make sure, though, that it’s a Starter, there’s a star on
the sleeve and the front part over where your hands go when it’s cold
(that’s a smart design feature and easier than pockets!) looks like the
fold of an envelope. Acceptable teams: Miami, Florida State, Bulls,
Raiders, Charlotte Hornets, anyone from Philly.
Super Mario Bros. 2
Dad, I NEED THIS. PLEASEEEEEEEEEEEEEE. It has four characters you can
play with!! It’s even culturally progressive because you can play as a girl character or a dude with a mushroom afro! If I don’t get this game
for Christmas I’ll probably go into a deep depression and all the kids
in school will make fun of me for the next three months and we’ll never
have anything in common to talk about and I’ll be forced into
continuously alienating social experiences that will ripple through my
future and one day I’ll find myself bored and alone inside a grey
cubicle on the day before Thanksgiving, typing nonsense for a bizarre
website read by other quasi-social misfits that never got this game for
Christmas. So this is important.
Easton Aluminum Hockey Stick
mean you can’t even play in a real league anymore unless you have an
aluminum. And don’t freak out when you see the price, because it’s
actually smarter: If I break the blade taking a killer slap shot I can
just take it out and put in a new one. They’re way cheaper than a new
wood stick would be and all you do is slide it out and put another one
in I can do it over the stove totally safely or maybe even with a blow
dryer and crazy glue.
was at Strawberries the other day and the dude who works there told me
they’re not even going to make tapes anymore. That guy’s smart, I always
see him at the baseball card shop and he knows stuff like that. And I
think they’re working on a wire so you can use it in your car, too, so
it’s sort of like two gifts in one. Besides all of that, the music
quality is so much better. And are you ready for this? YOU CAN JUST SKIP
TO WHATEVER SONG ON THE ALBUM YOU WANT TO PLAY! You don’t have to
fast-forward or rewind and hope to land close to the beginning. Also, I
think these fit in the front pouch of a Starter pull-over perfectly just
Millenium Falcon Spaceship (Original, duh)
not even going to explain this. I mean just look at the joy on that
kid’s face. Shouldn’t that be me?!
Sidenote: I don’t even need all 7
Stormtroopers, so you can save money.
WWF Magazine Subscription
magazine is awesome. It has really cool articles about, and interviews
with, the wrestlers that talk about everything that’s going on inside
the squared circle. Plus I can cut out pictures and posters to hang in
my room. Wrestling’s a fun thing for kids to like even if it’s a little
silly, just throw me a bone here.
I know cable’s expensive and this is a pay channel but please they have Flyers and Sixers HOME
games and Spectrum wrestling shows PLUS movies with curse words and
nudity for you guys to watch. It’s way cheaper than if you took me to a
Flyers game and went out to the movies once a month, so we’re basically
saving money on the deal.