Thursday, November 15, 2012

The Gambler (Know When to Foles 'Em)



 
On a warm Sunday eve, on a season bound for nowhere,
Andy met up with the gambler; the boos too loud to sleep.
So they took turns a starin' from the sidelines at the darkness
'Til concussion overtook ‘em, and he began to speak.

He said, "Coach, I've made my life out of readin' safety's faces,
And knowin' what their blitzes were, besides--dude--Vick just died.
So if you don't mind my sayin', I can see you're out of aces.
For a stroke of your mustache I'll give you some advice."

So Andy leaned in all the quicker and he tickled all them whiskers.
Then he bummed a challenge flag and threw down his playbook.
And the Linc got deathly quiet, and his face lost all expression.
Said, "If you're gonna play the game, boy, ya gotta learn to play the rook.”

You got to know when to hold 'em, know when to Foles 'em,
Know how to call a play, and for the love of God when to run.
You never rest your Shady when you're startin’ ol' King Dunlap.
There'll be time enough for restin’ when the season's done.

"Now every head coach knows that Mike Vick ain’t survivin'
He never learned to throw away, and gets killed on every keep.
But every draft’s a winner, and every draft’s a loser,
And the best that you can hope for … is your third-rounder makes the leap."

So when he'd finished speakin', Andy turned back towards the benches,
Threw down his headset and bellowed walrus deep.
And somewhere in the darkness, the Foles stood tall and ready,
As Desean danced like a moron we found an ace that we could keep.

You got to know when to hold 'em, know when to Foles 'em,
Know how to call a play, and for fu**s sake when to run.
You never rest your Shady when you're startin’ Dennis Kelly.
There'll be time enough for restin’ when the season's done.

You got to know when to hold 'em, know when to Foles 'em,
Know how to fade away, and when your reign is done.
You never rest your Shady when you're startin’ a guy named Dallas.
There'll be time enough for restin’ when the season's done.



8 comments:

  1. I love you so much, ZWR

    ReplyDelete
  2. This is incredible.............

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  3. Print this out and bury it with me when I die.

    ReplyDelete
  4. THIS IS GUDASS SHIT

    ReplyDelete
  5. GREATEST. BOLG. EVER.

    ReplyDelete
  6. I know I wasn't the only one who read it by singing.

    ReplyDelete

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