Thursday, December 13, 2012

A Letter to Pete Ciarrocchi, Chairman and CEO of Chickie’s and Pete’s



WHAT.

Dear Mr. Chairman,

It has come to this bolg’s attention that one of the Philadelphia Phillies' most recent acquisitions, stud future all-star outfielder and dog-lover Ben Revere, came to your establishment recently with the hopes of enjoying his FIRST EVER Philadelphia cheesesteak. While I understand that as an executive you cannot literally be down in the weeds tending to each individual transaction taking place under the umbrella of your company, it is nonetheless reasonable to expect that those carrying out the operations of your organization maintain a sense of personal responsibility concerning the customer experience. Moreover, the notion of what your product represents (beyond the soggy roll) cannot be obscured. 

WHAT.

I'll be brief, Mr. Ciarrocchi: In providing the above sandwich to Mr. Revere, under the guises noted, your organization failed the entire city of Philadelphia, the Phillies organization, and Mr. Revere. Further, you cheated a young man of an experience he can never get back: his first time. You were given the honor of delivering this man's first cheesesteak experience, he selected you from a large field of competitors, and you failed.

This so-called representation of a "cheesesteak" is an outright abomination:
  1. FIRST, while some inconsistencies in quality can be explained away given the quality of the mobile phone picture, this "cheesesteak" does not actually appear to be made of beef. How will Ben Revere ever develop the gap-to-gap power we need him to in order to properly win this trade if you can't give him good old (and proper) red meat? Whether or not Ben Revere intended to have a chicken cheesesteak as his first cheesesteak experience, all efforts should have been made to deliver as genuine a Philadelphia experience as possible to first-timer. A chicken cheesesteak is not a "cheesesteak". On this matter, your franchise has failed considerably.
  2. SECOND, Lettuce and Tomato. LETTUCE AND FARGLING TOMATO. No, just no. No. Absolutely not, never, under no circumstances, should a "cheesesteak hoagie" be delivered to a guest as his or her first "cheesteak" experience. Utterly shameful.
We sincerely hope your franchise will take the above under advisement, and deliver a sincere and well-crafted apology to Mr. Ben Revere, the future of the Philadelphia Phillies organization. Please make it up to this young man. He deserves better, your franchise's reputation deserves better, and the City deserves better.

14 comments:

  1. I guarantee Pete remedies this situation soon.

    You can bet your cheese-dipped crab fries on it.

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  2. I believe it was a lobster cheese steak which is an absolute violation and may get his trade reversed.

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  3. His first mistake?

    Going to a place that doesn't specialize in cheese steaks.

    Should have went to Steves, Ginos, Tony Lukes or Jims Steaks for that.

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    Replies
    1. Shoulda got a PEETZA. Or just stuck with crab fries.

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    2. Sure, go to Geno's or Tony Luke's... if you like dog food.

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    3. never trust anyone with the name anonymous. i wouldn't even feed genos, pats, or tony lukes to my dog.

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  4. I just wanted to make sure you know that about 8-10 years ago when I worked for the Philadelphia Zoo, I brought a Zoo on Wheels Birthday party to Pete's son. ZOMG

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  5. Obviously he would have had to ask for lettuce and tomato to get it. He will learn...

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  6. I mean, it makes sense that the first public reaction he experiences in Philly is the boos of the phaithful. After all, this *is* Philly...

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  7. It looks like friggin tuna salad, for crying out loud! Horrible. Just... Just... Ugh. You said it. An abomination.

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  8. Who let him order THAT? Wa someone in the Phillies FO with him? That person should be IMMEDIATELY fired for not taking him to a true cheesesteak place like D'allesandro's or some of the others mentioned above.

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  9. Going to Chickies was his first mistake.

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  10. Revere's first "cheese steak" reminds me of the first time I had "sex."

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  11. what, by yourself

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