Wednesday, January 30, 2013

CK's letter to Jeffrey Lurie

To: Jeffrey Lurie
Cc: Don Smolenski,Howie Roseman
Bcc: Roger Goodell, Barack Obama
Subject: Eagles uniforms

Dear Jeffrey,

Hi! My name is CK and I am a local Twitter celebrity and ZWR contributing artist. I am also a lifelong Eagles fan that has hated the midnight green uniforms since their inception in 1996. I've heard from sources that the main player in the decision to ditch the sweet sweet kelly greens in favor of the pine tree look was your now ex-wife, Kristina. I get it man, happy wife = happy life. But guess what? She’s not your wife anymore. AND you just hired a coach whose last name happens to be Kelly, so let’s party.  Really that last part doesn't matter at all... I could care less if the coaches name is Dick Slippers, this is about the uniforms that we all love and cherish well except for like you and the ex-misses and probably Dave Spadaro because he likes whatever you like and also Andy Reid because he would've looked like a huge Green Lantern but he’s gone now let’s focus.

Splitsville, bro


I’m sure you've seen the millions of kelly green jerseys and swag at Eagles home games over what the past 14 years or so. Hell you've even added all the “retro” stuff to the team store and catalog because well who doesn't like to make money, although it appeared the Eagles were one of the later teams to jump back into that market. You fought the good fight on that front, Jeff, but in the end the dollars made too much sense lol pun kinda.

Please don't let this guy down

I have to mention that you allowed the use of kelly green uniforms just once during your tenure while teams like Pittsburgh are wearing bumblebee uniforms and banana helmets 2 or 3 times a season because well that’s fun and why would we want anything to do with that we should just be happy that one time we had some crazy ass blue and yellow flag scheme that allowed for Kevin Curtis to look like Wes Welker for a day and then move on. Maybe if you let Mike Vick wear those kelly’s he wore in his break out game he wouldn't stink again.

Srsly wut is this outfit

Now I know what you’re thinking – Shut up CK we’ve had more success running around with swirly wings and ugly pants (DON’T EVEN GET ME STARTED ON HOW AWESOME THE SILVER PANTS WERE, J LU) and weird curvy numbers and butt green than kelly green ever had.  Welllll 1960 was the last title so you'd technically be incorrect since we still have no Super Bowl and that’s the ultimate barometer of success so give the fans what we want.

Yes Tom Brady I know this jersey is ugly stop staring please

I have included some examples to support my case below. In addition, there will be an online petition posted for fans to commit to the cause which will likely be signed by millions so deal with it and file the proper paperwork to make the move before things get relly ugly. 

Bring it home for Jerome, Jeff


omg please start selling these also

Imagine Shady McCoy in this getup tho

RIP

ORIGINAL SWAG

wait how'd that get in there


ok nevermind i see your work Rodney

DOOOO ITTT JEFFFREEEYYYY

Just saying... you *are* a single guy now

For real this poor sap can't even find midnight green facepaint

Fin


EDITOR'S NOTE: Yes, please I agree ^infinity everyone use the comments section as a ghetto petition and RT this on the Twinker we can do this united for change!!!

EDIT TO THE EDITOR'S NOTE: APPARENTLY THERE'S ALREADY A REAL PETITION VIA CHANGE.ORG CLICK HERE TO SIGN IT ZOMG IT'S GONNA HAPPEN 

https://www.change.org/petitions/jeffrey-lurie-reinstate-kelly-green-as-the-official-color-of-the-philadelphia-eagles



28 comments:

  1. https://www.change.org/petitions/jeffrey-lurie-reinstate-kelly-green-as-the-official-color-of-the-philadelphia-eagles?utm_campaign=share_button_action_box&utm_medium=facebook&utm_source=share_petition

    ReplyDelete
  2. No, no, no, no, no. Let the Kelly green RIP. It's old and outdated, and looks like the leftover from the 70's that it is. The midnight is fine, or come up with something new, but Philly sports fans need to stop living in the past.

    ReplyDelete
  3. This is a noble cause if I've ever seen one. Mr. Lurie, tear down this wall!

    Am I doing this right?

    ReplyDelete
  4. Shut up, Butt Martinez

    ReplyDelete
  5. Love the article and the visuals. But those colors and unis are butt. They were outdated and shitty looking back in the 80s.

    No, seriously. They're awful. But keep the Zubaz pics coming.

    ReplyDelete
  6. My co-worker started the Facebook group for this cause! I know he'd be eternally grateful if we could get it linked on this post!

    http://www.facebook.com/bringbackthekelly?ref=ts&fref=ts

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Whoops! Here is the main link, without the referrals on the end...

      http://www.facebook.com/bringbackthekelly

      Delete
    2. ref means reference, not referral..

      Delete
  7. That link doesn't work, more Kelly Green.
    Also, when is ZWR going to spend some time explaining how Chip is short for Charles so the Eagles hire Charlie Kelly WILDCARD BITCHES. ?

    ReplyDelete
  8. I had that Randall Cunningham poster in my room as a child. Now I study space. Coincidence, I think not.

    ReplyDelete
  9. There seems to be a difference between the kelly green of the 80s/90s and the beautiful bright green they rolled out for the 50th anniversary game. I'd love for a bright kelly green, white or gray/silver pants. Blend a classic color scheme with the modern uniform and you got your self a handsome set of kicks. Something like the idea this fella had http://www.timeobrien.com/home/2011/1/17/2012-nfl-concepts.html

    ReplyDelete
  10. Have been an eagle fan since 1956 and rooted through many terrible times, but nothing was as demoralizing as looking at those horrible kelly green uniforms for years.

    ReplyDelete
  11. Unless....

    http://i.imgur.com/idMp8.jpg

    ReplyDelete
  12. they need to keep the color change some of the uniform like put the eagle head logo on the helmet .

    ReplyDelete
  13. NO way on the kelly green unis..... Midnight green rules... lol. Seriously, the 70s are gone, what next, the Bee Gees version of Fly Eagles Fly????

    ReplyDelete
  14. Hard to believe some here think kelly green was a product of the '70s. The Eagles 3 championships came while wearing that color. None of them were in the 1970s. I think the writer of the letter is trying too hard to be funny, and failing.

    ReplyDelete
  15. "I think the witer of that letter was trying topo hard to be funny, and failing" .... thank you. Please don't let clowns like that represent Eagles fans, we have a bad enough rap already. I htink we could sprinkle in the kelly uniforn a couple times a year and that would make everybody happy. Please though, bring back the Eagle font for the name and ditch the cartoon block lettering for kids.

    ReplyDelete
  16. How the hell do you get a typo when you copy/paste something?

    ReplyDelete
  17. Serious commenters are serioes!

    ReplyDelete
  18. Bring back Kelly green and no, other anonymous guy six posts up, DO NOT FUCK WITH THE MOTHAFUCKIN WINGS ON THE HELMETS.

    ReplyDelete
  19. A Bee Gees version of Fly Eagles Fly would of been awesome, you music dummy.

    ReplyDelete
  20. WE WILL NOT LET YOU TAKE OUR GUNS!

    BRING BACK KELLY GREEN!

    ReplyDelete
  21. I think this design works:
    http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-QcjEE-Gr1Vo/UKk_81ZfbsI/AAAAAAAAAXs/n0pUU_RMKsQ/s1600/PHL.png

    ReplyDelete
  22. This is the real FB link which has the petition link on it: https://www.facebook.com/EaglesBringBackKellyGreen

    ReplyDelete
  23. YEEESSSSS!!!! Midnight green sucks, numbers are crap. I want to be old school like the steelers, packers, bears, niners. Majority of the stadium wears kelly green. Give the fans what they want, you just increased our tickets after a 4 win season.

    ReplyDelete

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