Wednesday, July 24, 2013

Sarge Matthews Matter of Factly States His Views on Ryan Braun




Last night during the broadcast, McCarthy and Matthews were chewing the fat on a variety of mundane topics, trying to create something that passes for witty banter, as they normally do. But things got interesting when T-Mac prompted ol' Sarge with a question about pile of poop Ryan Braun and his recent suspension for the rest of the season for being a arrogant pile poop cheater.

Well as luck would have it, 2013 ZWR Bolg Ring of Honor inductee Ryan Petzar took the liberty of transcribing Sarge's response with his pirated copy of 2004 Word Perfect for Windows Millennium Edition, and as you can see it's...well, just read it...


The italics button was made for this moment in history.

And there you have it. You have to think Bud Selig is probably printing out the transcript above and storing it in Ryan Braun's permanent file.

"AND HEY SARGE SPEAKING OF CHEWING THE FAT, SARGE WHAT ABOUT THIS JIF IMAGE ON THE WEB DID YOU SEE IT UH HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA"

Sarge Matthews Eating Ribs
Thanks to Sean for emailing this to my attention, though I feel it's pretty old

The Phillies lost to the Cardinals.

5 comments:

  1. Reading this out loud is even funner.

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  2. I never understood how, instead of naming his son Gary Matthews Jr., Sarge didn't accidentally name him Gary Matthews As Well.
    "As you can SEE, doctor, this is my son. I am the man, and he is the boy, and therein LIES the separation...OF...men and boys, so we can uh, really, sep...uh, separate the men from the boys. Now, obviously, I want to name my son, like everyone does...
    (the doctor starts filling out some forms)
    ...as you see the doctor here fill out his forms. That's cadillac time. As I was saying, I want to name my son, but WHAT I want to name him, well, that was a discussion I had with my wife like every husband has, and we came to the decision to name our son Gary. Seeing as my name is Gary also, he will be Gary as well. So we are naming our son Gary Matthews As Well."

    ReplyDelete
  3. Sarge also dropped this gem last night: when he said "Ruben has to decide whether to pull the button."

    ReplyDelete
  4. PULL THE BUTTON

    ReplyDelete

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