Friday, April 18, 2014

Ruben Amaro Jr. Plays the $150,000,000 Pyramid (Yet Again!)



 
Well it seems we have a bit of a dynasty here folks; Ruben and Markie are in the Winner's Circle yet again!


Feels great, Dick. We're gonna do it this time!


You guys have been here enough to know the rules so how about we get right to it. Ruben, third time's a charm, right buddy?


I get better each time you give me another shot!!!


That's what I like to hear!!! Miss Post is giving the clues. On your Markies, get set, and gooooo...


Pat Burrell.

Things with diseases.

Wait...what? Really? Sleep.

Things you do in bed!


Mike Adams' shoulder. Ryan Howard's Achilles. Roy Halladay's shoulder. Cole Hamels, probably by mid-seas--


Operations. Medical issues!


Here they go again!!


Filbert brush. Sword brush.

Instruments used by artists- specifically painters so far - to create.

THEY'RE ON FIRE!!!


Alcohol. Women...

Hey there. Have we met before?


Shut up you pig!


Whatevs #YOLO


Back to the clue. Alcohol, people, music, games...


Things at a party!



Ice cream. Count Chocula. Beluga caviar.


Things in David Montgomery's secret snack drawer!


Soup. Jell-O. Bowls full of Adderall.


THINGS YOU EAT WITH A SPOON.


This is the last clue!! Can. They. Do. It??


I'm pretty sure she can, Dick.

http://www.wearysloth.com/Gallery/ActorsP/tve13990-20060418-1502.jpg
......



An old, dilapidated building. A torn ACL. Atlanta in 1865.


... none of those things seem similar, Posty.


The city of New Orleans after Katrina. An aged, declining baseball roster.


I can't believe you're gonna screw this up again.


ONLY TEN SECONDS LEFT-- CAN RUBEN FINALLY GET OVER THE HUMP?


YOUR roster. The Philadelphia Phillies. In 2013. Not to mention 2014.


...?


Things that were once built well but ARE NO LONGER SO.

THINGS THAT NEED TO BE BUILT. AGAINNNNNNNNN.


[BUZZER SOUNDS]

*TIME RUNS OUT*

(shaking darn head)
Wow, Markie. Ruben. That was, uh... yeah. Wow, that was. Actually, that was exactly like the last two times. Wow. Just. I don't.
Ruben, the answer we were looking for, Ruben, was "Things That Need Re-Building."
(Audible GROAN from crowd)

 
Well, it seems Marky just needs to perform better next time. Yet again.

How dare you. I practically gave you the answer this time! 
Screw this, I'm out of here. And don't call me again, Dick.

 
Don't try and make this my fault again. I've done everything within my power, it was up to you to perform. Seems like maybe I should have selected Harry Anderson to give the clues. There's a real veteran with talent.

http://blogs.dallasobserver.com/mixmaster/harry1.JPG 
??

Well sorry folks, but it seems this show was once again a let down. 
(forced, nervous laughter)
Ruben, I'm not sure you'll ever get another shot at this again given your recent performance, but if you do, I hope you can learn from your mistakes.

 
I doubt it, Dick.

   Welp. Sorry everyone. That was tragic.
But perhaps our next contestant will have better luck, 
WHEN WE PLAY THE PYRAMIDDDDDDDDD

 
The screen fades to black as Ruben Amaro stares obliviously into an infinite void. 
[Credits roll.] 

The theme music plays.




Here's Markie Post in a bikini again just because:

4 comments:

  1. GREAT JORB!!!

    THIS IS MY THIRD-FAVOURITE RECURRING THING ON THIS BOLG!!!

    ReplyDelete
  2. Perfect end to my work day. Thanks, ZWR.

    ReplyDelete
  3. Sheer brilliance.

    ReplyDelete

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