Friday, August 29, 2014

Eagles Preseason Week 4 Report Card feat. CODY PARKEY

Grade: A++++++++++
 Comprehensive, exhaustive recap:

Cody Parkey Era FTW

 Also while you're at it, you might as well go ahead and pre-order your Cody Parkey shirsey for 15% off


Wednesday, August 27, 2014

Should the #Phillies Call Up Maikel Franco? [A ZWR INFOGRAPHIC]

The crack team of statisticians and donkey quants here at have spent literally thousands of man hours crunching the numbers and running the algorithms through our simulation supercomputers in order to bring you this shockingly simple flowchart.

Seriously, you won't believe how much work actually went into this:

Thursday, August 21, 2014

Philly v. Chicago: Tale of the Tape (GO TANEY!!!)

As I'm sure you all saw, Taney got totally screwed over by the home plate umpire and Donovan McNabb last night, both of whom are entirely to blame for the loss. Don't fret, though-- our heroes still have hope! The Dragons have an elimination game tonight against the Jackie Robinson West squad, of Chicago. This Chicago team is actually very likable, and the kids seem great, but I still thought it helpful to my readership to provide an objective Tale of the Tape comparing the two cities America will see pitted against each other this evening. Here you go!

Wednesday, August 20, 2014


As you may have heard by now, the scrappy upstart Taney Dragons play the evil "West" team from Las Vegas in the Little League World Series tonight at 7:30 p.m. I hereby declare it your duty as a Philadelphian/Pennsylvanian/Northeasterner/East Coast resident/human  to root them on. Brotherly Love vs. Sin City? I mean seriously, folks.

I also implore you to get the picture above tattood on your chest while the Rocky theme plays in the background. LET'S GO TANEYYYYYYYY

ZWR's 2014 Fantasy Football Primer 2014

Hey kids, it’s me- ZWR- of I Went to the Zoo with Roy Halladay, the world’s foremost bolg about having gone to the zoo with former Phillies ace and future Hall of Famer Roy Halladay (you can find us online at

As you’re well aware, my fantasy football primers have always served you best when preparing for your totally important and not at all annoying to hear about fantasy football drafts/leagues. Well get ready to dominate this year, because it’s baaaaack!!!

Wednesday, August 13, 2014

I Took the ALS #IceBucketChallenge

Although slightly disappointed that my new best friend didn't challenge me to this earlier today, I was just as happy to participate when CSN's Sarah Baicker threw down the gauntlet.

I hope you enjoy:

BOOM, NAILED IT. You can read more about the ALS Ice Bucket Challenge here.

I officially challenge (click their name to pester them on Twitter): 
  1. Ryan Lawrence
  2. Ben Revere
  3. Gloria Estefan

Tuesday, August 12, 2014

The Official Zoo With Roy Zoo With Roy Recap


Lots of folks have asked that I provide a recap of my trip to the zoo with Roy. Dude of course I'm going to provide a recap of my trip to the zoo with Roy Halladay. 

Thing is (and I'm not exaggerating here), the whole morning was such a surreal blur, and I was so in awe of the moment, that I'm not sure how detailed a description of it all can be. But I'll do my best. Here are some of the more face-breaking bits and the stuff I think you donkeys would most appreciate:
Roy kept us waiting for a short while and just as we started to get anxious enough to the point where we were wondering whether he’d even show up, he suddenly appeared in the Zoo Balloon, blew a loud conch shell to signal his arrival, threw a rope over the side and then rappelled down military-style into the parking lot below. 

It was amazing. 

Just kidding. In typical humble style, Roy actually met us in the parking lot all by himself in a rented gold Chevy Malibu (yes please). 

Friday, August 8, 2014

I Went to the Zoo With Roy Halladay

Updated with photo:

After more than four years, 1,800+ bolg posts, and countless silly indulgences surrendered to in the name of “being ZWR” … I’m incredibly proud to say that at approximately 10:00 a.m. this morning I went to the zoo with Roy Halladay! (Editor’s Note: I’m scheduling this post on Thursday evening since technically I’ll be at the freaking zoo with Roy Halladay on Friday morning when it actually posts, so if he ends up ditching it will be pretty embarrassing so please kindly just disregard this post and pretend it never happened). Seriously, look for photo proof on my Twitter before continuing, for the sake of my dignity.

--- I understand that as far as bolg ledes go, the one above is quite the facebreaker, so I’ll allow you a moment if you want to go back and re-read it a seventh time--

Thursday, August 7, 2014

Tuesday, August 5, 2014

Phillies High: Superintendent Amaro Renovates The School

By Danger Guerrero

[Scene: In the Phillies High parking lot, where Jimmy, Ryan, Cole, Cliff, and Chase are walking toward the school and discussing their big persuasive writing project for Mr. Mackanin’s English class]

Friday, August 1, 2014

Ruben Amaro in Guardians of the Galaxy

In the far reaches of space, an inter-galactic baseball general manager finds himself against all odds in an attempt to defend his battle-tested but expensive roster of stars from over-aggressive rival GMs.

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