Tuesday, August 12, 2014

The Official Zoo With Roy Zoo With Roy Recap


Lots of folks have asked that I provide a recap of my trip to the zoo with Roy. Dude of course I'm going to provide a recap of my trip to the zoo with Roy Halladay. 

Thing is (and I'm not exaggerating here), the whole morning was such a surreal blur, and I was so in awe of the moment, that I'm not sure how detailed a description of it all can be. But I'll do my best. Here are some of the more face-breaking bits and the stuff I think you donkeys would most appreciate:
Roy kept us waiting for a short while and just as we started to get anxious enough to the point where we were wondering whether he’d even show up, he suddenly appeared in the Zoo Balloon, blew a loud conch shell to signal his arrival, threw a rope over the side and then rappelled down military-style into the parking lot below. 

It was amazing. 

Just kidding. In typical humble style, Roy actually met us in the parking lot all by himself in a rented gold Chevy Malibu (yes please). 

I mean, can you imagine being the donkey with the clip-on tie behind the rental car counter when ROY HALLADAY shows up and then you have the NERVE to offer him a gold Chevy Malibu? 

“Ohai, Mr. Halladay, welcome back to Philly! The teal Miata isn’t available tonight so we switched you to a Malibu. If you want GPS that’ll be $30/day extra. Don’t worry, though, hehe...everything will be PERFECT for you I’m sure, haha.” GO SCREW, KID, YOU BLEW IT WE ALL HATE YOUR FACE.

No big deal just a selfie with Roy

Doc stayed about three times as long as he was slated to. This is due to all of the stuff you’re about to read, but just know that he was incredibly gracious. NOT TO TOOT MY OWN HORN, but we talked a ton while we wandered about. 

We have no idea where he got that balloon

Roy took a BIG interest in how we staged our photos. I'm being kind-- he was a total dork (in the best way)! He kept throwing out ideas and insisted on going to the penguin display but when the zoo folks told us it wouldn't look too great he ordered that we go to a closed gift shop and pose with all of the penguin toys. 

Yup, the former Cy Young award winner was running around grabbing plush penguins and dolls and arranging them, and Doc also somehow produced a red balloon (we were all “wait what” but who are we to question Roy Halladay?) to hold during the gift shop pics. He also had an idea for a photo of he and I locked outside the zoo gates trying to get in with sad pouts on our faces that I thought was killer but got ix-nayed for some reason.

Dude of course he drinks Doctor Pepper

Roy was amazing with my family, which I appreciated more than anything. He was beyond sweet with my kids, held our baby a bunch (even when he cried), and asked to pose for some pics with both of my kids to send back home to Brandy. He truly is a good person.

Left to Right: Some donkey, Roy Halladay, Me


*probably deleted by now

After she mentioned a current academic program in which she’s enrolled, Doc spoke at length with the Nag about his desire to pursue a psychology degree (as also covered by Ryan Lawrence in his excellent piece from last Saturday). In fact, I’m pretty sure he liked her way more than me, which will lead to an irresolvable, life-long bitterness toward her. Ohwellz.

The WAH with a photobomb thanks kid geez

At one point, some folks in Phillies shirts came over and totally recognized him (duh). Roy kindly asked that they not take any photos out of respect to my family, and partially due to my being an idiot who’d prefer to remain anonymous. Naturally, they obliged. Philadelphia rules and its people are the best.

Roy's favorite ZWR post(s) of all time was the Cole Hamels fist pump set (reminder: he threw a playoff no-hitter that same series). He also likes ones where stick figure Jayson Werth talks to people (me too, HLHIII, me too). To think that my MS Paints have amused our hero makes me incredibly proud. I don't care if that makes me sound like a dork. 

Bonnie Clark from the Phillies rules so hard (if you had only seen the torment I put the poor lady through over email), and I was actually THIS CLOSE to tricking her into giving me the password for the official Phillies’ Twitter account. Prior to the announcement @Phillies almost tweeted, “Hey there, the ladies.” But seriously, a million thanks to her and Deanna for everything leading up to and at the event. Further thanks for offering us tickets to the game that night, it was a welcome surprise and the WAH’s favorite part of the trip (sorry Roy).  

The zoo personnel was equally awesome. They were incredibly friendly, and incredibly accommodating. BEST ZOO EVER.


Because he’s a social media guru and hilariously awesome human being, Roy decided that we should tweet our announcements at the exact same time. There was a countdown and everything. Except after he hit send he immediately was concerned that he wasn’t getting a signal and that my Tweet had beat his into your timeline. As has been well documented on this here bolg, Roy competes at everything.
Wait what not sure what's going on in this one but his abs are pretty solid wait what

Thanks again, everyone. This was an amazing experience that I couldn't have done with out all of the support you've given me over the years. I truly appreciate it.


Best. Ever.


  1. This site and Roy Halladay are gifts today.

  2. You rock my socks Penguin. And to think I knew you when you were just another asshole in Jetro.

  3. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Wcz_kDCBTBk

  4. This is so awesom, congrats Roy, so amazing you got to spend time with your hero zwr

  5. Doc still brings joy to a joyless Phillies season!

  6. Nothing will top this ever. No but seriously I'm so jealous he seems like a great guy and you deserved it ZWR. #NeverForget

  7. I think now would be a good time to close the bolg. With CK gone, and the zoo mission accomplished, its best to go out on top.

  8. Great, great stuff, ZWR.

    Now, set me up with a chance to go to the Zoo With Lionel Messi pls.

  9. Roy's work with autists, in cases such as this, is really inspirational.

  10. So now that you finally went to the zoo with Roy Halladay, are you going to change your name on this website?

  11. Never mind I saw that you did already!

  12. I absolutely love Roy even more now....I didn't even know that was possible.

    I'm so glad this actually happened for you and it was a fantastic experience.

  13. This rules so much. Doc really does seem like a great guy.

  14. Tremendous. I have cried donkey tears.

  15. ZOMG was waiting for this. Totally face breaking (but in an awesome way)!

  16. But... How did he feel about the giraffes?


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