Tuesday, March 3, 2015

#BACHCAP: Women Tell All

Dude, I love the Women Tell All Eps
ZWR: Dude, I love the Women Tell All eps!!! It’s always interesting to get the ladies’ opinions on things after they’ve had the benefit of time and hindsight - like, “Oh my god this guy is a total moron and I was just excited to climb down a glacier TBQH there’s no way I was ever in love with that meat sack but thanks for the cool vacations!”

Not gonna lie, I also like the sassin.

Evster: I'm five minutes into this show and I can't handle anything.

Sara Circs: Let’s face it, the most boring thing about this show is Chris. I wonder if there would be any way to do a whole series that is JUST Women Tell Alls? Along those lines, is there any way to make a planet with JUST women?

ZWR: What would you call it-- Nagtune? (LOLOLOLOL)

Holy Butt, ________ Was On Fire
ZWR: This seems kind of counter-intuitive since she cried the whole time and that’s not really “exciting” or “fun”, but Britt brought it and made some serious points (I hate myself so much). She shut Carly down and sassed her good that one time.

Evster: Jade's red dress (and my armpits). I recently switched from antiperspirant to just straight-up deodes and my pits are blazin. Please help me Lord. Please f***ing help me.

ZWR: Wait so you have sweaty, clammy pits that smell good?

Evster: It’s more like a #constant #burning.

Sara Circs: Ashley S! New fave. I mean, granted, she’s an idiot, but at least she was making fun of The Bachelor: A Very Very Stupid Show.

Ok, Yeah, We Get It
ZWR: Yeah yeah yeah Jillian we get it you take #horse steroids and will fist fight anyone who looks at you funny. BTW can you hit a baseball?

Evster: Sanderson's dead blah blah blah let's talk about Ryan Phillipe's new TV show.

Sara Circs: Kaitlyn, we get it, you seem very down-to-earth and have an incredible mouth. Have you made friends with Sharleen of Juan Pabs’ seez yet?

ZWR: Here’s “Oh Canada”!

Without Objectifying, Hottest Girl (In Terms of Physical Appearance Only)
ZWR: Everyone’s gonna go Jade here (foreshadowing) but I’m Team Britt. She’s so pretty. Unfortunately, she has to smell awful since she doesn’t shower how is that even possible? Evster, she’s probably the inverse of you, and needs to straight deodez no antipersps.

Evster: I'll go with Jade because I've seen her vagina.

ZWR: Best in the business!

Sara Circs: Gotta be Jade, which I didn’t know until I found out she had been in Playboy. I also like Carly’s new platinum hairdo.

Zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz Shut Up Nobody Cares
ZWR: Some girl who I’m not even sure was on the show complained that she felt she got sent home because the husband murderer faked a panic attack. Bro shut up nobody cares, and nobody remembers you. Go away.

Evster: It's not about you Britt it's about Jade and her vagina.

Sara Circs: Crashing Bachelor viewing parties. Honestly, please just fill these minutes with more commercials instead.

ZWR: I generally agree, but that young girl who screamed “shots!” and then chugged from the bottle was pretty cool. I hope she’s the next Bachelorette.

“Oooooh Uh Uh Girl No You Didn’t”
ZWR: Kale’s mom almost showed emotion this one time.

Evster: Chris Harrison wrote a romance novel. Nothing else matters.

ZWR: I can’t even. Don’t get me started. How many times did he ask them to name it “The Final Rose” before he gave up on that idea?

Evster: What did he end up calling it? “The Rugged Renegade”?

ZWR: HERE IT IS!!! The Perfect Letter: A Novel

Sara Circs: I’m not sure I’ve ever read a “romance novel,” unless Clan of the Cave Bear counts. I read that in the 8th grade and was like “this book is really good!” and my friends were like “that is a sex book” and I felt deeply humiliated. Anyway, my point is, good for Chris writing a book about cave women learning their way around a mammoth bone #ifyaknowwhatimean.


  1. I watched the Women Tell All earlier today and now I'm watching the Phillies, which is sadder?

  2. I loved Carly's hair, she looked great! Kaitlyn was so quiet during all of the drama, I think they told her not to get too fired up because they want her to be the next bachelorette (unless Chris picks the boring girl, then I think it's Whitney). She was a huge part of that Britt drama, and she didn't say a peep.

    Confirmation that this was the most boring seez ever - there was a whopping 6 seconds of funny outtakes!!!

    Harrison did NOT ask Chris at the end if he is happy or if he's found love, which he usually does. Does that mean no engagement?? Or are they already broken up????


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