Friday, May 29, 2015


Happy fifth anniversary of HLHIII's perfect game!!! Since today is a special occasion- and I'm prone to sentimentality- I broke out the old MS Paint brush and made a little something to commemorate our hero breaking 27 faces without blemish on May 29th, 2010. I hope it makes you happy.

Click to big

Wednesday, May 20, 2015

Sixers Essentially Win NBA Draft Lottery

Heading into last night’s NBA Draft Lottery, the primary concern among Sixers Nation was the team’s potentially losing their “slotted” position in the top three of the draft. All of the  #OneSixEleven stuff was fun, but more the talk of dreams than that of plans.

So here we are. The Sixers select third, and that’s a win. Who they select will be based on a host of factors, one of the primary of those being current roster construction (and hence need). Let’s take a look at where the team stands and see if we can surmise where Sam Hinkie and his staff could be looking.

Ish Smith - A late season pickup, Smith was arguably one of the best point guards in the Eastern Conference this spring. Now I know that the sample size is small, and many of the teams the Sixers were playing were tanking, but Smith looks to be a player. I can see him serving as the backup point guard on a championship caliber team.

Friday, May 15, 2015

Projecting Maikel Franco's Rookie Season

As I first reported, the Phillies called up prized prospect Maikel Franco this morning, and he’ll join the team for their weekend series against the D-Backs. While nobody can say for certain what the future holds for the young slugger, I’ve run some numbers through a proprietary software I’ve developed and can forecast with reasonable confidence that his 2015 campaign will look something along these lines:

.334 AVG
.329 OBP
56 2B
3 3B
37 HR
42 RBI
25-30 highlight reel diving plays at 3B

With stats like those, it’s a safe bet that Franco will take home rookie of the year, MVP and possibly even first ever Co-ZWR-Man-of-the-Year honors. So be excited Phillies fan, what I conservatively estimate as a likely perennial All-Star and future MVP has just joined the roster. 

As Franco's season unfolds we'll have all the coverage you'll need right here on your #1 source for Phillies insider info, Zoo With Roy (

Thursday, May 14, 2015

Esotericky Bottalico Checks In ... on TV?!?!?!


Srsly Comcast you better pay me for that crap I want a suite for Taylor Swift or something...

Thursday, May 7, 2015

A Note on Yesterday's Post (Which I Plagiarized)

Q: Hey man what was yesterday's post were you SKEWERING something or stealing copy?

A: Guys, deep breath. I've been doing this bolg for nearly 5 years now, and have never felt a need to "steal" anything, ever. I erroneously assumed that people would get the joke here, based on my original final graf, which alluded very clearly (I thought) to the piece I was skewering, and included a link to it. (I don't know many plagiarists who link to the stuff they've "stolen.") I have edited that final graf to make it more clear. I have never stolen anyone else's work, and never would. And anyone who knows me even a little will vouch for that. For the record, in case anyone is interested (though I suspect you aren't): My intent was indeed to poke fun at "Remy's World" (whoever he is) and his attempt at mocking runners, by taking bits of his "rant" and juxtaposing them with normal-sounding stuff. The Onion does this sort of thing all the time, which is why I included a hat tip to them above the column. I assumed – incorrectly, it seems – that the original shitty Runner's World blog post was seen widely enough that most folks would get the reference right away – or would, as soon as they read the excerpts from it.

Wednesday, May 6, 2015

Motivational Poster Number 97

Just run. To the authorities. Then cancel your credit card.


Related Posts Plugin for WordPress, Blogger...