Wednesday, September 30, 2015

Here's Sam Bradford as Lucas!

This is amazing, you're welcome. Had such a crush on the girl from The Goonies, too.

Tuesday, September 29, 2015

Les Cousins Dangereux

From acclaimed French directors Francois and Gerard Sauterne, it was the depth chart that the world thought was wrong, but it was the world that was wrong.

No touching!

Monday, September 28, 2015

Eagles Week Three Report Card

We wonned! No joke, Evan emailed me asking that I link to his Twitter account in the introduction because he wants more followers how pathetic. Soooooo let's get to this week's victorious report card, with DG, Going Hardinger, Doc Pizza, and The Evster!

ZWR: I finally found a lucky gametime meal! Meatball sandwich failed week one, Chinese food blew it week two. This week, though, cheesesteak straight killed it. Good job, cheesesteak! “But ZWR, you live outside DC there aren’t any good sandwich places there those people are vanilla, culture-less, suburban slugs who live for crappy chain restaurants!” True story bro, but the Weg sells shaved steak and their bakery is a banger. Sam Bradford doesn’t impress me. Yeah, I know, Sproles and Mathews each dropped balls on wheel routes that could have been big gainers and all, but still you need to throw LASERS (or moon balls) to wide receivers DOWN THE FIELD to get an A from this penguin (or the Evster). Grade: C

Saved the season, yo

Tuesday, September 22, 2015

A Definitive List of Food You Cannot Eat During Any More Eagles Games

A confession: I'm very superstitious. As a kid (and still today in stupid men's league) I always got dressed the same way in hockey locker rooms, my old man and I had an elaborate set-up for the entire 1993 Phillies playoffs television watching experience ... stupid stuff like that. I was pouting about the Eagles awful start yesterday when I stumbled upon another iteration of this behavior from my past. In 2003 the Eagles had Super Bowl aspirations, but started 2-3 and had a make-or-break game in New York against the Giants. Beforehand, I made a sausage and peppers sandwich (total banger btw). Things were looking very bleak up until the final minute, but Brian Westbrook saved it-- and the season-- with a late punt return touchdown.

Monday, September 21, 2015

Eagles Week Two Report Card (SPOILER: F)

Hi everyone. Danger Guerrero can't participate this week as he's immersed in Emmys coverage for his real job. He's pretty lucky to not have to discuss this game, if you ask me. On to it! 

ZWR: I don’t do video games very often, but ended up playing the new Madden the other day. I called a pass play and thought there was a receiver who was the L1 button, so when the guy made his break I kept pushing it frantically only he wasn't L1 at all and nothing happened so then I panicked like a giant doof and hit the triangle or something and threw the ball right to the other team. I’m pretty sure that’s what happened to Sam Bradford on that interception in the end zone. Riley Cooper was the L1 button that wasn’t. NOT TO MENTION Bradford looks like he has a damn bath robe tucked into his football pants I can't even. Grade: F-

Going Hardinger: The interception in the end zone actually gave me Legionnaire’s Disease. Grade: F-

Evster: I watched the game with my buddy and his three-year-old daughter, Maisie. We spent most of the second quarter playing with Peppa the Pig (who seems like a pretty cool pig) and searching for her stuffed lamb, Lamb'y (she was under the couch). Later I taught Maisie the phrase, "Our quarterback eats dogs**t for breakfast." Grade: F

Tuesday, September 15, 2015

Eagles Week 1 Report Card

Hey everyone, we're back again this season! Shame it started so craptastically. Anyway... on to it!

ZWR: I ate a meatball sandwich. The sandwich was great. The first half was obviously a debacle, but Sammy Sleeveface was killing it in the second half and that leaves me hopeful. He's going to destroy Dallas next week write it down in pen. Grade: B (But a definite A+ on Sunday)

DG: Bradford was... good? Kind of? He threw the ball a million times and it mostly went where it was supposed to. I suppose that's a positive to take away here. Analysis game on point in Week 1. Grade: B+

Friday, September 4, 2015

Related Posts Plugin for WordPress, Blogger...