Monday, November 16, 2015

Eagles Week Ten Report Card


Danger Guerrero can't join us this week he's at the doctor let's pray he doesn't die.

Quarterback
ZWR: Sammy Sleeves was representing sexiness and inspiring confidence… and then he was dead. You'd pretty much have to play Ironman at quarterback if you wanted someone to survive behind this offensive line. Wait, could Jason Kelce snap it over Ironman’s head? Grade: Dead

ALSO: I think I hate Mark Sanchez’s face he looks like the kind of guy who just walks around talking about his haircut and people are like, “Ummm yeah that’s great but it’s your turn to practice or lift weights now” and he’s like, “Yeah, it’s really fashionable in European soccer and Lena Dunham’s boyfriend has the same cut but my barber is better.”

The Evster: This is Eagles third string quarterback, Thad Lewis.


Tuesday, November 10, 2015

Eagles Week Nine Report Card


Just the three old heads this week, sorry for delay but sometimes real life can stink. Let's get to it...

Quarterback
ZWR: Sammy Sleeves looks like a giant doofblock but I have to give him credit on that game-winning pass. He stood in there despite the fact that a giant angry man was about to obliterate him from behind, and threw a perfect pass to the guy who has spent this season dropping perfect passes. That’s a lot of confidence. I’d have pooch punted. Grade: A++++

FIRST NAME SLEEVES, LAST NAME EVER

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