Monday, September 26, 2016

Eagles Week Three Report Card

ZWR: 300 yards passing, two touchdowns, no interceptions, demolished an elite, unbeaten team that was favored to win the game? We’ll give Wentz a pass this week as he’s only a rookie, but expect better next game. Grade: C-

Tuesday, September 20, 2016

Eagles Week Two Report Card

Another week another win another Wentzfest...

ZWR: I would trade every first round pick for the entirety of his career for Carson Wentz. The kid has IT. Our old friend Crane Kicker texted me after like the third offensive play “this kid as it” and I was all, “you are correct he sure does have it”. Can’t wait until he breaks his leg next week.

OMG also did you see that we got a “Crappy Quarterbacks Since…” montage during the game last night?! I was so excited to see that, though I don’t think Mike Vick’s crappy FWIW.

Grade: More excited than I’ve ever been in my life outside of being handed french fries.

Monday, September 12, 2016

Eagles Week One Report Card!!!

Hey there kids. Yes, the Eagles Report Cards are back this season. Sadly, Danger Guerrero cannot join us because UPROXX are a bunch of pricks, but Evster and Dr. Pizza are back!!!

ZWR: I can't even, you guys. Carson Wentz is a straight up franchise quarterback. That's not hyperbole, I can just tell. Did you see those throws? Did you see the poise? Did you see his sleeves. I can't even!!! The dorks are going to tell you to temper your expectations and not get too excited. Well I tell them (and instruct you to do the same) to go screw their faces. Grade: A++++++

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